Camsology

how true could this get (:

2005-12-05T20:52:00.000+08:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

(:

2005-11-02T07:14:00.000+08:00

I'll be back soon. I promise. (:

lost on you

2005-08-16T05:29:00.000+08:00

Assumption Day yesterday. We celebrated the mass and had a three-hour break. Sir Beni was awarded the annual award (Teacher of the year? Maybe.) and he's the first time hall of fame-r. Afterwards, we proceeded to the theater to watch the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra. It was beautiful. Too bad I was asleep the first half. I was so full! The latter part was interesting though. I woke up because the audience was applauding like mad.

Teachers were pretty lenient today. No homework as of yet. My grades are not consistent though I some are pretty satisfactory. I really abhor the teaching methods of Ms. Jona. I'm sorry for being blunt but gah, she's just not effective for me. Oh well. What's done is done... Physics quarterly test result tomorrow. Eek. Not that I'm counting on a decent grade.

I'll be heading the Law and Social Sciences field trip on September 13, 2005. How I got there was an odd story. It was part self-appointment and unanimous silliness from the other 21 members. Oh well. Hurrah for bossing people around! Um... kidding. I must prepare for my Filipino monologue tomorrow. Hohum. Wish me luck!

I love Daphne Loves Derby! They remind me of old Copeland, which I miss very much.

wasted conversation

2005-08-13T15:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I met up with Caria, Bea and Anne in National Bookstore, Katipunan. We headed for North Green Hills to go to Jared's despedida. The ride was amusing. We listened to songs from the late 90's to the early 2000 stuff by boybands. Backstreet Boys, 5ive, N'Sync, 3T (I love them so much!), Boyzone, 98 Degrees, Another Level. Oh dear. You could tell the ride was long. The traffic was bad, as it always is when it's raining. We first went to Theater Mall and ate an early dinner in Delifrance. We went upstairs to get dessert in Dulcinea: Churros and Eclairs. Pam arrived.

We tried hailing a cab. We even went as far as pretending to be a foreigner. They either wanted a tourist or people going to Makati. Since when did taxi drivers end up being the ones to dictate YOUR destination? REALLY! We gave up, went inside the tiangge and just waited for Dom to pick us up. Jumacket, pumants and tumishirt kami eh. I fell in love with this corduroy jacket in the tiangge and an army jacket in Esprit (PhP3,500.00 to keep myself warm?! I'd rather freeze my ass off.)

Dom came in a car (we were expecting her van). They stopped in the middle of the road and we tried fitting in ourselves. We caused traffic; the cars were honking at us. The pressure was especially on me since I was the last one to go in because I'm the tiniest and I had to sit on Pam's lap to fit. Haha. PRESSURE.

Jared's despedida was a mixture of fun with a hint of melancholy. It was fun because of the food and the guests. Jared's friend Roger sang a Britney song and Bootylicious. Laughtrip! Jared asked some questions from What The F*ck? such as "If you had the flexibility, will you perform oral sex on yourself?" or "Would you cover yourself in honey and sit on an anthill for one hour for $100,000.00?"

The sad part was the idea Jared was leaving. I was especially disappointed since I'm one of the few people in our group who didn't get much chances to get to know him. Considering he's the boyfriend of my friend. It's frustrating to think he's already leaving tomorrow night. Though what's bothering me the most is Caria and how much it would affect her. I was nearly crying when Jared was singing Iris with his grandparent's Magic Sing and dedicated it to Caria. ): Aww.

I hate goodbyes.

in a nutshell

2005-08-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

During my hiatus, I only came online to download notes and instructions from our yahoo group. Grar. I don't know what's going on with you anymore. ): Oh well. I'll update first. Here are tidbits in my 15 minute sessions online during my hiatus.

July 26, 2005
We had our Mythology parade today. I was Pandora. I wanted to go as something contemporary but thought of it too late. Mapple was called by request of a few sophomores. Jeezus! In front of the teachers even! Oh well. Leah drew me on MS Paint. Pam lent me her HP6:HBP. I'll start on it tomorrow. Talk about priorities. Eeek. I've been listening to a lot of Damien Rice lately. Quite a change from my art punk, electronic and trip-hop stage.

July 27, 2005
My test in Physics was delayed for more than one week already. Believe it or not, it occurred naturally. I was supposed to have it Monday but Sir Mitra was absent. It was moved to Wednesday but I was absent because I was sick. I rescheduled the test for Monday this week but it was declared a holiday the night of Friday. Tuesday, we don't have Physics. Today, Sir Mitra was absent yet again. Eee. ):

July 28, 2005
Physics test was fun. Surprisingly, there's no hint of sarcasm in that statement. I just hope I pass. Haha. Philosophy was... I don't know, I was never logical.

July 29, 2005
I'm getting power hungry. CLE killed me.

July 30, 2005
Happy birthday, Synty! I'm listening to Hopesfall's A-Types. I don't get why people ~~abhor~~ dislike the album. I'm actually enjoying it. Probably because it's a bit catchier as opposed to The Satellite Years. \: Norma Jean also has a shirt with a green dragonfly on it. Coheed and Cambria-ish much?

July 31, 2005
Happy birthday, J.K. Rowling! Happy birthday, Harry Potter! (: Mum talked to me in the car today. I cried. I hate crying in front of people. Gosh, I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

August 11, 2005
If only I had the money, I would bid to get my name in a book. My life is going nowhere. A few days ago, I found out I can tie my hair back in a pseudo-ponytail already. Pseudo because it's held up by around ten hairpins. It takes me 10 minutes to do it everyday. (: Happy birthday, Jac and Steph!

pretty accurate

2005-07-28T18:42:00.000+08:00

How You Live Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.

You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you.

You're open to new people and friends, which makes you a pretty popular person.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

its my party!

2005-07-17T09:55:00.000+08:00

Cholo, Denise, Celine and I set up this birthday bash for the four of us. We reserved Tribu, Katipunan for July 16 and invited our friends. The typical... free booze, isaw, BBQ and sisig, lots of music and dancing.

I arrived at 6:00pm in Starbucks. Den, Nina and I headed for Tribu to set things up. W ate dinner in the cafe across the street. People started arriving but they were heading for the cafe instead of the actual venue because no one was there yet. Celine arrived with Jan and Gueller but Gueller had to leave for a debut. They went to the cafe as well. Cholo arrived and went to the cafe as well. He finished my dinner. All of us finally went to Tribu to start things up. Caria was one of the first ones to chug down a beer. Le gasp! I picked on the jelly shots. Took lots of pictures with Geoff, Jackie, Jan, Kimmie, Ali, Mafe, Avic, Chieri etc., Most played tracks: Bonnie Bailey - Ever After and Daddy Yankee - Gasolina.Pam was drunk! Haha! Had to accompany her to Cza's car. Gaddi assigned Jan as my partner for the night. Pinanindigan niya. Aww. Danced with Ali and Agot because they had to leave already. People were still arriving. It reached the point when I don't know half of the guests. Haha. All of the Isaw, BBQ, Sisig and all the beer were consumed. Treated Maika, Iann and Jan to a last round before going home. The four of us walked to McDo. Mum picked me up there.

Thank you to those who went, gave gifts and consumed! You made every transaction made worthwhile. Haha. Thanks to Den, Celine and especially Cholo (took the biggest fraction) for sharing the expenses.

The CELEBRATORS! (not celebrants, for serious.)

I just want to say what a bad picture this is.

I told you I'm going lesbian.

Just before everything started.

Celine, Cza, Caria, Pam and Dom

Cholo's Jelly Shot erm... shot.

Ali and I.

We had to fight for the middle position.

Geoff and I.

Caria, Pam and Dom.

Blu and Avic

Denise and I. Birthday people.

Libre yan!

Taking my lesbianism a step further. KIDDING!

Jackie and I.

Left to right: Erm... nevermind.

Kimmie and Kat!

Martin, Bianca and Ton

Chieri and I!

Pumaparty eh.

Martin and Jeff!

My partner, Jan and I! He was with me until I went home. Aww.

Nique and Caria. Gubas.

I want to go home.

marches and maneuvers

2005-07-10T07:26:00.000+08:00

Our batch went to PNPA in Silang, Cavite yesterday. It was a whole day activity from 6:00am-7:30pm. Everything's a blur since it was tiring so I'll just summarize everything in a list. Also for your convenience. I know you don't read my long entries. Haha.

Arrived in school at 5:45 am thinking everyone must be on the buses already since we're to leave at 6am. Fallacy.
Bus ride was short. No stopovers. ):
Arrived in PNPA and deposited our bags in room 202 and proceeded to the grand stand.
We watched the cadets get inspected. We were allowed to go down and inspect them ourselves.
Asked lots of questions. Their response were pretty amusing.
Toured the Academy. Visited the CSI area and passed by the firing range.
Went back to the grand stand for the drills. They did different formations and danced Mama Yukero (sp?) in their uniforms. Hilarious!
Changed into our PE uniforms and ate. Boodle (sp?) fight. Rice with viand on top. No utensils.
Had a dragging talk in the PCAI room. Then a group forum with a few cadets regarding Gender Sensitivity inside PNPA.
Two cadets approached Din-din and I and asked for a favor. They wanted us to ask two political questions to the director (Doria). They couldn't ask the questions themselves without getting demerits. Haha. LAGOAT!
Obstacle course! Eizel, Aika, Gaddi, Maika, Andy and I were part of the crawl under the wire event. I had itchy elbows afterwards.
Left at around 6pm. Arrived in school at around 7:30pm-8:00pm. I slept on the way home.

Shadows! Me, Gads and Maika. Haha.

PNPA fun! My grin makes me cringe!

A female cadet touring us and patiently answering our questions.

This is why my friendship with Maika is over. Haha.

I'm over it. I have someone new.

Gads and Ms. Olalde!

Going home. Exhausted, itchy, sweaty and sleepy.

P.S. - Yeah, I deleted my last post. Heh. It wasn't enough. I've never been one to be concise and vague when it comes to issues as such. A longer one, perhaps? Maybe. (:

mandatory birthday post

2005-07-03T07:25:00.000+08:00

Thanks for the greet! ILU! ♥:
Mom, Dad, Geoff (first greet of the year!), Martin (first greet in the day itself!), Paul, Lynn, James, Josh, Raine, Mocca, Kat, Bea, Ella, August, Nikkimon, Sheena, Opha, Cara, Jappy, Katia, Daphne, Justine, Kriz, Alyssa, Anne, Lyze, Mark, Poch, Maica, Denise, Pam, Caria, Niña, Jackie, Eizel, Kenneth, Anna, Redj, Ces, Lorra, Dhyna, Ralph, Trisha, Daryl, Nikki, Macy, Kimmie, Justin, Miggy, Camille A., Quin, Synty, Steph, William, Dada, Anjo, Carina, Erren, Camilla, Carlo, Robert, Trish, Nique, Lisa, Sarah, Kate, Zel, Trixia, Giselle, Chin, Emanette, TinOng, Suzy, Ayet, Aika, Mary, Cata, Yuby, Gaddi, Janelle, Popsy, Kim, Carol, Leah, Bambi, Andy, Faye, Agot, Vicky, NikkiSev, Patjo, Maika, Brian, Holly, Anne, Trizza, Nica, JR, Chedric, Noreen, Karen, Arianne, Jeff, Jay, Myka and Kaka.

Happy anniversary to my mum and dad! Oh and as you would have guessed, it's my birthday today as well. (: Unexpected people greeting, expected people not greeting. Those are both delightful and dismaying surprises. I'm happy nonetheless. Especially since one of the names above is a happiness stimulus.

My family and I ate at a Chinese restaurant. Birthday noodles are fun! Crispy Lemon Chicken is even better. Three guesses which restaurant it was. My family bought me honey cake. I took pictures but the camera is not with me right now. There's macaroni salad in the fridge, cake on the table along with Italian spaghetti with improvised parmesan cheese and a hectic week ahead. Still working on my English paper. Ladilala.

hey unloving, i will love you.

2005-07-02T15:17:00.000+08:00

I haven't slept well this week. Loads of homework and that line is almost literal. I've been doing all my homework and I can't keep up with my El Fili required reading. I will forever abhor Filipino. I can speak it conversationally but formality just kills. It's been a bad week as well. It's such a relief when the weekend came.

Last year, Fridays are the lightest days of my weeks. This year, it's the most hectic. My first three periods in the morning with no break are physics, trigonometry and college algebra. Way to wake you up. After recess we have non-math yet still major subjects such as filipino, english and economics (non-math as of now, it'll soon be). After lunch, we have a study period and clubs. It was the second day for AFS auditions. It was my second time to be in the panel as well. It was nice to be the one of authority, for a change. Instead of being the one jittery and nervous and waiting outside.

It was Chelly's birthday last June 30. We surprised her with balloons, flowers and honey cake. (: Multiply is effin' up and I can't make a collage right now since I have homework. So why am I blogging? You know what, you have a point. Oh well. Happy birthday, Chelly!

let's never go to sleep

2005-06-26T21:44:00.000+08:00

Last week was pretty hectic. Mostly due to the Kapatiran. We had Tuesday off but still we were busy. Last Friday, it was Eizel's birthday. The next day, Saturday was Gaddi's. We prepared a surprise for them. All of our Kapatiran sisters lined up with huge cardboards with letters on it hanging around their neck. It spelled HAPPY BIRTHDAY When Eizel and Gaddi came, they spelled it orally and the second time around, using their bums. Two cakes were brought out and we pigged out. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EIZEL, GADDI, ALYSSA (my Kapatiran sister), CARA, QUIN, KATMED and CHELLY!

After CAT, we had the free time to take a bath. I didn't. I was already sweaty when I changed into my CAT clothes and I wore it the whole day. Needless to say, it was sticky. The Kapatiran activity was pretty interesting. I was Juan Tamad and my sister was the Bayabas. Though I was too lazy to get into costume. Pun intended, actually. We played Samson and Delilah which seemed boring but was fun when done in a huge group. The freshmen kicked our asses. For dinner, it was Budo (sp?) Fight. We were asked to bring viands. We had banana leaves spread on the table and they dumped rice on it and we shared the food we brought. It was fun but clean up was a bitch. We had the Amazing Race game again. Ran around the high school building. Got sprayed on with water.

Earlier that day, Lorra called me along with Gel and Elaine. She assigned me to lead the closing prayer of the activity. I can talk endlessly and sharing spontaneously BUT I can't make up a prayer on the spot in public. It bothered me the whole day. It's too holy. I feel hypocritical having to lead people in prayer. So I had to pray reading my prepared prayer written on paper. I guess it went pretty well. I closed the passing-on-of-the-candle-from-senior-to-freshman ceremony. The ceremony, not the prayer, had a pretty huge impact. I took a bath at past 12am.

That night, I sort of fell asleep and I was hearing voices around me. I opened my eyes and it was still dark. It was funny seeing Bea, Gaddi, Eizel, Chin and Maika surrounding me, talking. I was literally in the middle and they were talking about different things. I joined in and after about an hour, we eventually went to sleep. The next day, breakfast was Tosilog with Orange juice. Bea lost her phone. ):

Yay for new freshie friends. Alyssa, Gamby, Bea, Reish, Bless, Kea, Erika, Lacson, Rachel etc., I was never good with names but I remember their faces. (: Pardon the quickie collage. I still have Philo, Physics, Algeb and Filipino(argh!) homework to do.

MORE PICTURES HERE

how life can turn

2005-06-19T19:18:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Oh and happy birthday to my mum too!
Couldn't resist linking that to a iharthdarth comic. That just made me squee. I did and still do love the original Star Wars, just not the current. I'll quit this. I've probably offended a few people already. Haha.

Last Thursday, we had our official start of classes. It was already hectic. Friday as well. Plus, we have to deal with CAT every Friday afternoon. We had the orientation so we had to go home at 4:30pm. The usual departure for high school is 3:20pm so I had to negotiate with the schoolbus to pick me and another senior busmate up. From 4:30pm - 5:45pm, we waited for our ride and no one came. We had to catch a ride with our friends' schoolbus. I had to take a trike just to get home. Dammit.

Next week, we'll have the Kapatiran. The Kapatiran is an activity where the Seniors will be paired up with the Freshmen. They will be so-called sisters. We'll be initiating them. It's pretty much up to us what we make them do. It just feels weird that we're the "ate's" when I can still remember when Katia's batch were the ones initiating us in the Kapatiran. Hm. I still have no idea what to do.

Homework on a Sunday. ): No school on Tuesday for us though!

when you look in my direction

2005-06-15T19:33:00.000+08:00

School started yesterday. After the General Assembly, the Seniors (us!) were gathered in the mini theatre. Our CA, Ms. Olalde, welcomed us and gave her expectations. Afterwards, lo and behold... our guidance counselor, Ms. Jusay, gives us reminders regarding UPCAT. First day! Oh well. It was stiflingly warm yesterday. I know the school can afford to the classrooms air conditioned. Guess what we got instead... A Zen Garden! Yes, landscaped and everything and complete with a bamboo fountain. It's on the seniors' side of the caf too.

Today, our new teachers were introduced to us. I'm looking forward to my Philosophy (Sir Benny!), Physics (Sir Mitra!), Trigonometry/Calculus (Sir Mitra!) and English classes (Ms. Manahan). I just hope I don't take that back in a few days. Haha. We also had the High School Orientation. Mostly tips and reminders per batch. They never worked for me anyway or I just never followed them. Aika, Gaddi, Eizel and I just talked and looked at pictures.

I missed school food so I've been bingeing these past few days. Arroz Caldo, Spanish Bread, Tapsilog and Cheese Log (now available in Pesto and Pepperoni!). I have yet to rekindle my obsession with the Bread of Life and Value Meal (mysterious burger, potato wedges and iced tea). Our school food is awesome. Oh, every Tuesday and Thursday, we have Little Caesars as our food concessionaires. Their cheese pizza and crazy bread are to die for. A little steep at PhP25.00 but you'll forget about regret once you start eating.

caught in the milky way

2005-06-12T06:29:00.000+08:00

Last friday, Niña picked me up. Caria, Pam, Mocca, Bea and Anne were already there. They just played frisbee and were watching a movie. Dom arrived a little later with one of the best pasta ever.

We watched a few movies. The stand out was Windstruck (prequel to My Sassy Girl). I cried! I lose all dignity with Korean movie.s We ate an early lunch composed of fried chicken and Dom's pasta contribution. Had about 5 servings, literally. After lunch, we really didn't stop eating. We picked on the junk food, cookies, butterscotch and cupcake. The latter three was made by Dom, again.

To burn everything we ate, we walked all the way to the Cottonwoods basketball court. Just so you know, that's quite far. Probably a fifteen minute walk up a steep road. Caria and Pam played basketball. Dom, Bea and I stayed in the spectators' sort-of hut. Mocca, Anne and Niña left for Caria's and Dom's surprises. Caria told us that there was an awesome garden a few blocks away. On our way there, a car stopped beside us. Niña, Mocca and Anne came out with two bouquets of flowers and a cake with candles on top. They blew the candles out right there on the road. (:

Afterwards, we went to the garden. Bea and I sang the feel good songs on the swing. We walked back to the house. They had their heart to heart talks. Anne, Mocca and I didn't really join in because I had nothing to share. Haha. Niña left. Bea's ride came over; Anne and Mocca caught a ride with her. Pam, Dom and Caria then grilled me for some stories. Meh. Mum picked me up and I went home.

Yesterday, we had our refresher class. From 8 am to 5 pm, we did nothing but take tests.

Happy Birthday, Caria and Trizza!

choke on this

2005-06-10T08:24:00.000+08:00

First Day Funk on Monday. Hohum. Where has my summer gone? I still remember the feeling of stress last March. Haha. Nah, I'll just miss being bored.

Just because everyone's taking it and I'm such a conformist. Kidding! It's a bit accurate though. (:

You Were Actually Born Under:

You have both a fiery energy and a warm heart.
Your charisma and charm makes it easy for you to influence others.
Lucky in life, you also have a reputation of being lucky in love.
Power hungry, you are determined to get what you want - no matter what it takes.

You are most compatible with a Monkey or Rat.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

You are solid, methodical, and you do things right the first time.
Even when no one else does, you always believe in yourself.
You tend to see the world in black and white, right or wrong.
A good memory and eye for details means you tend to thrive at near impossible tasks.

You are most compatible with a Snake or Rooster.

What Year Were You Born Under?

stay with me

2005-06-04T08:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Maika and Bea came over. Bea just got her iPod. Mini? No. 20GB? No. 40GB? No. Then what? 30GB IPOD PHOTO. Lucky bitch. My mp3s can't fit into my iPod anymore. I was so jealous that she uploaded my whole library into her iPod. Haha. Plus some Typecast photos. Haha. I was pretty sure she wanted some of my self-portraits. Just kidding.

Bea brought Teddy Grahams, Pop Tarts, Biscotti, Kudos and a can of planters. The three of us finished it all. We did nothing but listen to music. I turned on my webcam and we danced for the viewing pleasure of Eizel and Anne. Maika imitated the different sounds of jeepney horns(?). We danced to some reggaeton songs and Underoath's Reinventing Your Exit. We tried to make porn but we were laughing too hard.

Maika made me listen to the song Iann told me about, Seed - Rapture. It sounded something which we would hear on the radio nowadays. What suprised me is it was released in 1992. Yes, the time when grunge still reigned. Too bad they were one hit wonders. Maika told me Steve cried when he heard it. Ampotah. Now its playing on repeat.

Bea has the pictures. I doubt I'll post them because we had stupid poses there. "Show me sexy!" We recently saw Cruel Intentions on DVD. Heh. You get the picture.

the trick is to keep breathing

2005-05-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

For the last two days of review classes, we had the mock ACET and UPCAT. Don't ask how I did. Lets just say its not too bad but its not enough. Oh well. To celebrate the last two weeks of freedom we have... did we go to EK? No. Did we go to Greenbelt? No. Did we go to Eastwood at least? No. Haha. We went to tacky Big R, bought three bags full of junk food, went to Bea's house and watched DVDs. Brookside reprazent!

By we, I refer to Bea, Anne, Mocca, Pam and I. Maika came over later last night and both of us slept over. Watched Battle Royale (twice), Dodgeball, White Chicks, National Treasure, Feng Shui, etc., I forgot. I don't care what you think... Battle Royale was awesome. I'm starting to have a thing for oriental people.

It feels odd not having to worry about classes tomorrow. I'm starting to miss the people there. A great disappointment would be not having to see him everyday. Halfway through the review classes, that was my apprehension but now, I realize how attached I've become to my new friends. Hohum. This is depressing. I hate how a people I've known for a short while gets really attached to me. I always let people do that.

get the hell off the ground

2005-05-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't had a good day in a while. Today was definitely a summer highlight. Haha. I'll just give a list.

We won the game in General Science. 290 points! Assumption reprazent! Hanggang GenSci na lang pala talaga ako eh.

We will have Gonuts Donuts tomorrow because of that.

Sir Jeff did the Amoeba dance for the class! Pam caught it on video.

Xavierian, Tom, did the Amoeba dance as well for Mana. Yus!

I spent time with Iya, Pam, Anne and Bea during lunch in Chicken Bacolod. Something I haven't done in a while.

Ate the food I wanted. After trying to shed off 20 pounds, I took a bit of a break.

I ate beef BBQ and two cups of rice. Yon! I'm killing myself.

I got to hug Martin!

Caria came over so she could upload songs in her iPod. She accidentally deleted all her songs. Haha.

Along Marcos Highway, Anne noticed that the car beside us was my mum's. Anne lowered the power window. Pam, Bea, Anne, Mocca, Caria and I were waving stupidly at my mum. Haha. My mum was laughing so hard.

A LOT has happened/been happening. Well, as of what I know, anyway. Though, I can't really recall much. I have a mock UPCAT tomorrow. Must study. Yus! Diligent!

NEW TYPECAST DOMAIN

disconnect the dots

2005-05-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

I've been lacking coherence lately. Review classes are about to end. It spells everything but hurrah. ): Oh well. At least I could sleep late and wake up late as well. For two weeks. Then I'll be facing senior year.

Hey, lets have a meeting.

BOYS ARE SLUTS!!! Especially you, ___________! I missed out last Monday. No, the first two sentences aren't related to the last.

Your Birthdate: July 3

Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. You are affectionate and loving, but sometimes too sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

frustrated: 3

2005-05-16T05:37:00.000+08:00

state of emergency

2005-05-10T19:43:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you're bored, you're in a mall and you have plastic to max out? Go to shops, speak in English, act like a foreigner and watch the salespeople fumble with their words to communicate with you. The wonders of a bilingual country. Honestly you get more respect. A little too much respect that the salesguy is already hitting on you. So, what do you do if that happens? LIE! Oh geez. Remind me never to enter Penshoppe again.

Oh well. At least my new pair of jeans look great. No one's getting in them but me. Haha. This entry is funny, vague and incoherent. No, really. It is. Don't bother to disagree. (:

Oh, I have a new haircut. I'm not cool enough to post a pic of myself nor am I that much of a whore. I have it on my friendster account though. Look me up if you're that interested to see. My email address is here somewhere.

your last words will sustain me

2005-05-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

I just got home from review classes. First day was hectic. We only had Math 1 which includes basic addition to radicals, fractions, quadratic equations etc., I would have found this subject fairly easy but Sir Russel started cramming things we learned from first grade until third year inside four hours. Haha. Oh well. Bea seemed to rock when she got 27/40. Gager. I got 22. ):

After review classes, we went to Shakey's only to find out Anne and Mocca have disappeared. We went to Fruit Magic. Then went off to commute to Big R. Impromptu decision to watch Can This Be Love?. We were already near Mini Stop when Anne decided she wanted to go back. Jeezus. Combine heat with awful smell and the sound of construction, I swear I was near collapse. We went back all the way to Shakeys so she could pass by McDo and at the same time ask Pam if she's coming with us and Arevalo was texting Anne to go to Shakeys. I grabbed a bite from our friends' food. Thank you.

Afterwards, we walked all the way to Mini Stop. Crossed the street and commuted to Big R. Bea and Mocca were semi-pissed for the sudden turnaround trip to McDo. When we got there and checked the movie schedule, Can This Be Love? was not being shown. I had this urge to sit on the mall floor and throw a tantrum. I was sticky. My nose was runny. I felt dirty from the communal trip. Then I find out I went there for nothing.

Haha. Spent time with Mocca, Bea and Anne. We ate at Chicken Bacolod. Guess whose fault? Definitely Bea's. I could barely eat my lunch from laughter. Lo and behold the most jolog way to pass the time... Netopia.

When I was about to leave, Anne saw her friend Alma. When we went down the escalator, a girl who's Alma's friend was saying something and pointing at me. Alma was calling Anne but she couldn't comprehend. I started asking Anne who Alma was with because I recognized her but I was afraid of committing a mistake. Gaga ka talaga Katia! You didn't tell me it was you! Oh well. Hello! (:

I have a headache. I'll go wallow up in pain. What a day!

you know exactly what comes next

2005-04-29T15:31:00.000+08:00

Maika called me at around past 6:30pm, asking if I wanted to go to a gig. I agreed so she picked me up in a car full of Rulf's friends. Imagine 9 people cramped inside a regular car. Oh well. It was in Ardz Katipunan. Its possibly the worst gig I've been to. Sorry. There was no coordination with the bands of what to play. So every band was Saosin, Saosin and more Saosin. I vowed to delete my Saosin mp3s already. There were two to three good bands though. Oh well. We were outside most of the time. So we just took pictures. No band pictures because we had bad seats and I don't know the bands. Haha. Sorry.

Last night, I had this tendency to end up staring at an inanimate object and I felt myself blanking out. I didn't notice until Iann told me I was mataray. Maika and Iann, sorry if I couldn't hear you and I wasn't replying to your questions. Meh. We binged out on club sandwiches. I was tempted to give my share to Maika's brother because he wanted some and Maika was being a meanie. Iann was a meanie as well. Maika took me home. Again, in a cramped car.

More pictures.

she's got issues

2005-04-26T14:43:00.000+08:00

My back is bruised. Don't ask me how or why. Haha. I took a personality test. Since I've been spending some quality time with myself, I just took it a step further. From here.

Results
Your answers suggest you are a Realist

The four aspects that make up this personality type are:

Summary of Realists

Loyal and steady workers who meet deadlines

Believe in established rules and respect facts

Think of themselves as mature, stable and conscientious

May appear too logical or tough-minded and forget their impact on other people

More about Realists
Realists are loyal to the people around them and work hard to keep their promises. They are honest and straightforward with others and expect the same in return. Realists believe in standard procedures and will only support change when there is a demonstrable benefit. Realists respect factual information, which they store up to use when making decisions. This group likes to have time to think quietly and carefully before taking action. These extremely productive people like to be occupied in their leisure time with pursuits such as craftwork, hiking or reading.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Realists may become obsessed with schedules, critical of others or have trouble trusting other people to get the job done properly. Under extreme stress, Realists may complain loudly that events have taken a turn for the worse and predict negative outcomes. Realists typically only share their opinions or personal experiences with trusted friends.

Realist Careers
Realists are attracted to jobs where decision making based on factual knowledge and experience is required.

itunes meme

2005-04-24T18:10:00.000+08:00

How many total songs?
4094

Sort by Song Title
First: Garbage - #1 Crush
Last: Ladytron - Zmeyka

Sort by Time
First: CKY - Intermission (0:05)
Last: The Mars Volta - Cassandra Gemini (31:42)

Sort by Album
First: !!! - !!!
Last: Matchbox Twenty - Yourself Or Someone Like You

Top Ten Most Played Songs
1. The Spill Canvas - The Tide
2. Copeland - Take Care
3. Copeland - Coffee
4. The Dresden Dolls - Coin-Operated Boy
5. Typecast - Infatuation Is Always There
6. Daddy Yankee - Gasolina (Nahawa eh.)
7. Mae - The Everglow
8. Mae - The Ocean
9. Copeland - Pin Your Wings
10. Straylight Run - The Tension and The Terror

Find sex, how many songs show up?
35 songs. Haha. Music from The Beatles, Death From Above, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Limp Bizkit, Some Girls, Tool and Mindless Self Indulgence.

Find death, how many songs show up?
90 songs. Beloved, The Blood Brothers, Brand New, The Chinese Stars, Cut The Shit, Death Cab For Cutie, Death From Above, Eighteen Visions, The Faint, Green Day, HIM, I Killed The Prom Queen, Showbread, Some Girls, The Used, Weezer and Xiu Xiu.

Find love, how many songs show up?
211 songs. I'm not even going to bother typing out the artists.

on the corner by sound exchange

2005-04-22T14:11:00.000+08:00

I remember distinctly saying that I didn't have the money to go out. I somehow managed to do so yesterday. Maika, Bea, Nica and I went on our el cheapo gimmiko in Big R. Dressed down in slippers and uncombed hair (on my part anyway). We watched The Interpreter. Spent a hundred bucks on a movie. Each of us were left with money in two digits. Haha. So we hanged out in McDo for around one and a half hours.

Met up with them in Netopia. They were making fun of the LJ artsy fartsy people.

Sang along the cheesy songs played before the trailers show.

Pissed off the movie-goers by yelling out our suppositions of what was to happen next.

We were usually correct. Haha. d:

Kuman-Kuman is the shit! Oh yes.

The Interpreter was an awesome movie and I am brainwashing you to watch it.

Took pictures in the bathroom of the cinema.

Got stamped but never went back inside.

Made fun of the girl wearing hot pants in McDo.

Took stupid pictures without flash.

Bea danced to the high-pitched bubblegummy music of McDonalds.

We tried to make a mockery of the artsy fartsy people in LJ. Fuck you!

Oops. Common LJ friends alert.

I can't really explain much since you wouldn't get our humour. Because its waaay below stupidity. Oh well. Had fun but it ended not so well. I'll just provide you with visuals. Because we're sluttier than you are, most probably anyway. STFU. Pardon the blurriness. We couldn't use the flash.

I want a faux mullet. Nine out of fourteen people which I asked told me to get a haircut. I'll go with the minority and grow my hair. (: I'll leave my short hair comfort zone. I can have short hair anytime I want anyway.

no escaping gravity

2005-04-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

Here's my fraction of the sticker picture thing. Taken March 11, 2005. Pardon the low quality.

Nothing really to talk about since summer is killing me with boredom. I can't go out because my wallet is killing me (as well) already for the damage I've done. Lots to do but nothing ever gets crossed out. Hey isn't that a Bright Eyes song? Sort of. Oh well.

Joseph Ratzinger a.k.a. Pope Benedict XVI is the new Pope. Hurrah! Watching CNN just pissed me off. I really hate that sucky news channel and their equally worthy of hate news reporters. Oh well. All I've been hearing about is their condescension of the new pontiff. He's been Pope for less than a day and we welcome him with doubt. Yes, say hello to the new age Christians. All that were discussed were their hail for his almost similar conservative views with his predecessor then the discussion would end with questioning whether Pope Benedict XIV could fill in the shoes of Pope John Paul II. Lacking charisma, his old age, waning health. Could we at least give it a bit of time and faith please? I have trust in the Cardinals. I doubt two thirds of them would commit a grave mistake of electing a person unworthy of papacy. Hohum.

I'm rediscovering Placebo. <3456789

mp3 requests

2005-04-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: The RIAA dictates that all music downloaded should be removed after previewing for twenty-four hours. What you do with the music you collect here is your own responsiblity, not mine.

These songs will be up for seven days (see date) or after twenty-five downloads. Just click on the link and click on the link of the first item. Okay, that was vague. Just follow the instructions of YSI.Com.

APRIL 28, 2005
For Kat:
My Chemical Romance - Helena
Papa Roach - Scars
Howie Day - Collide

For Mini:
Mae - The Ocean (Its my favourite off of The Everglow!)
Mae - Suspension (So is this one!)
Incubus - Pardon Me
Interpol - Obstacle 1 (From Interpol's best album yet.)
Nada Surf - Popular (Old school! Its a classic.)
Outkast - Ghetto Musick

Thank you for the comment. (: <3

meme: anonymous comment

2005-04-19T09:23:00.000+08:00

The anonymous comment meme was up for exactly one week. Only ten people were brave enough. I wouldn't even know if it was bravery due to the anonymity but oh well. Here are the comments I got.

"i enjoy reading long and spontaneous posts of yours. I tend to learn something from it (atleast) and for me, that's not definately a waste of time."
Thank you. Glad to know I'm not wasting your time. (:

"I enjoy guys yet whenever a hot chick passes by, I feel "manly" all of a sudden."
Hmm... So do I. Okay, moving on.

"I don't know what to say. Cams is a good writer!"
Thanks dear.

"you think i'm hot. the whole world knows it. you love my picture. hahahaha! love ya lover :D"
Oh please. You derive joy in making me appear like a perv. Haha. Love ya too.

"SOMEONE IS COPYING YOUR LAYOUT!"
I know. (:

"cammy cammy cammy cammy cammy chameleon...weh"
Yos! Ma-Boy George. Ang corny naman nun.

"CAMS IS SEXY, WHERE IS THE VIDEOTAPE? hahahaha. cams is truly beautiful, look at her and her writings. Very creative."
WTF?! What videotape?! THERE IS NO VIDEOTAPE! That's yet to come. Haha. Thank you.

"i wish i could hang out with u. u seem really fun to be with."
If I know you, then maybe we should. If not hmm...

"You.. try too hard?"
I know. I'm quite persistent, aren't I? No one gets anywhere without trying. Haha. Just kidding. I get what you mean. Thanks dear.

"I found out you like Sylvia Plath. I thought it would be interesting for you to know that Sylvia Plath killed herself by inhaling gas from her oven."
Thanks for the fact. I just wonder how you knew I liked Sylvia Plath. (:

rename my heart, the calendar

2005-04-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Kat picked me up at my house. She got excited a bit too excited to go to Eastwood so she picked me up at 2:00pm. Meh. Haha. It was funny how nothing went according to plan that day. Oh well. I'm too lazy to elaborate so I bring you another list.

Upon arriving in Eastwood, Kat and I wanted to eat. We checked out some restaurants.

We were outside Fazoli's when someone came up and we had to run.

We then went back to Fazoli's to eat. Meh.

We went to Powerstation. Did the dance thing and the drum thing. I was horrible! My coordination is f*cked up.

Closer was the planned movie to watch. Though it was not showing in the Eastwood cinemas so we just watched Finding Neverland.

We cried! Dammit! I didn't cry the first time but Kat was infectious.

Jackie arrived. We went around. I bought a pair of slippers.

iPod buddies walking around. Ang yabang talaga e.

Kat and Jackie saw some K-boys who are their friends.

We went to Powerstation. I saw Maika, Giselle, Nica, Anne, Steph, Celine and Chelly! Wheee!

Sang three songs on the karaoke! I Miss You Like Crazy by The Moffatts is the best karaoke song.

Steph and I lost! ): Dammit! Who gets a perfect score singing Uptown Girl?!

All of just headed to OJs. Whee! Alcohol. Yes, I get excited over that substance.

Cake, Weng Weng Grande and Red Horse are not a good combination. Oh, Iann was there as well.

There was a "party" with the K boys in Jules's house.

We went to his house in Greenhills. There were around 12 guys and just the 3 of us girls (Kat, Jackie and I). Within sight anyway. That looks bad. Really.

We just used his bathroom and left. Yes, we are that impulsive.

We went to Theater Mall and hailed a cab to Eastwood. Talk about adventure!

I bought some milk and called it a night. Kat and I caught a ride with Jackie.

Might not seem much but I had fun. I always seem to whenever I'm with Kat. Yus! We were supposed to go out today but Kat told me it was canceled. Maika then texts me about a Typecast gig in Marikina. I woke up at around 7pm so it was too late when I read it. Rawr. Too bad. Oh well. Here are pictures.

MORE!

stay on the ground

2005-04-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

I want you to post anything that you want in reply to this entry.

Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, an opinion, a critique --- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. (Maybe more.) This can be about me, or anything you want. Just post anonymously (or not), put dashes or any other character for your name, email and url. (:

starlight is stealing my heart tonight

2005-04-11T11:33:00.000+08:00

Here I am, yet again, another hot summer day. I turn on the AC, sit in front of the PC with a glass of iced coffee in hand. I could go off and read a book or watch TV. Lots of people would kill to have a relaxed moment at home as such. Little do they know that the boredom is killing me.

Just some random thoughts: I need a date. I want to go to the beach. Someone call me. I'm selfish. I need to let go. I think too much. I know too much. I can't manipulate my anything for my own benefit. I can't stand the television anymore. I'm getting dependent on someone. I'm getting sick of summer. In all honesty, I want to study. Something is always bound to go wrong. Some people are either plainly dumb or really lazy. God will provide. He may have forgotten though.

I'll be uploading some music while reading a book. I need a hobby.

Some replies to comments:
Maika: Magpapahaba na ko ng buhok e. Mag-beach na lang tayo.

Nadine: You missed the compliment. We avoid the dominant blogging typologies which are branded by the intellectuals. (:

Nikki: Haha. Yeah, I read it. Whee! Ang yabang na natin. Haha. Just kidding.

Gean: Haha. Yeah, sinaraduhan ako ng gate. Shiyet.

Kat: Benta yung conversation natin sa phone last night. Hahaha. Tell su abuelita I'm sorry and I'll try to speak louder next time. Haha.

Pather: Nice one. Great Romances of The 20th Century. (:

fighting starlight

2005-04-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

I went over to Kat's house last Monday. No, I actually rang the doorbell of her neighbor. An old lady came out. I asked if it was the Baraquiel residence. She could barely hear me so she dismissed me with a wave of a hand and closed the gate. Haha. I'm not really a hit with old ladies. Oh well. Good thing Kat came out of their gate. Haha. We watched Wimbledon. Before going to Urdaneta park, we bought soccer balls. We got there pretty early so we had time to play soccer. Alvin was there as well. The three of us were joking about our sexuality and Alvin's phone calls from his "clients". Hurrah for sex-driven humor. Frisbee was fun, too bad it was my last and too bad I'll never get Alvin back for his kasalanan. FOUL! Oh well. Haha. Someone make his other knee swell up, please.

Last Tuesday, Caria, Dom, Nina and I went to Katipunan to enrol for our review classes. We met up in McDonalds. I refused to eat so they did. Then we proceeded to Starbucks. I still refused to eat even though I'm a sucker for their Caramel Belgian Waffle. I didn't eat! Nina's dad came and all of us went to Expert Guides to enrol. I wrote down I wanted to be a lawyer and a nuclear physicist. The latter was utter bullshit but I didn't have any other ambition. Meh.

After taking care of the payment and application forms, we went to Moro. We prayed in the chapel then Nina's dad left. Caria and Nina watched the basketball practice. Dom and I had a different agenda. We separated from Nina and Caria to go to Blue Cow Cafe (is that what its called?). We shared one meal of tapsilog. Nothing beats Assumption Tapa on Tuesdays but it was yummy anyway. We waited for Uno who came from his classes then we found out he was already in Katipunan to visit his friend who got kicked out. Am I not supposed to say that? Meh. He wanted to play billiards so the four of us went to Libis to eat lunch.

We ate in aVeneto. Hah. Italian food! We ate pesto spaghetti with chicken and calzone. I called Jared up so Nina would win the bet whether Jared would come over for Caria or not. He couldn't make it but he sent Caria an apology with the oh-so-used three-word sentence. (: Yus! John Arigo was there, alone. Quite tempting to ask him if he wanted some company. Haha. Just kidding. My lunch was keeping me pre-occupied anyway.

We picked up Uno after lunch. Dom and Nina wanted a King Cone. Yes, even after such a heavy meal, they still wanted one. So we drove through McDo. Caria then all brought us home.

Maika came over that afternoon. Using my PC, she deleted all the songs on her iPod. She imported some Benton Falls songs and uploaded them then left before dinner. Hija de puga. Ang labo. At least, I got to borrow a book from her. Heh.

Yesterday (Thursday), Maika IMed me if I wanted to go to Big R. I said yes then asked for permission. For some reason the female parental unit said yes. So Maika, Iann, Nica and I watched Spongebob Squarepants. I have to agree with Jia that the humor was baduy. What can I say, Jia and I have the same level of intellect. Haha. How I wish! My three companions would kill me for saying this because I was laughing along with the six-year-old kids we were with. Haha. Oh well, it only cost me eighty bucks anyway.

I've been going out a lot lately. El cheapo fun. Hurrah hurrah. I don't think my expenditures for this week have exceeded five hundred bucks but that doesn't mean I have money at all. Hohum.

THIS made me happy. (: That is one of the reasons why I continue blogging. Even though I usually get in trouble for what I say. I never really took blogging and my entries all too seriously but getting recognized for it just made my day. (: Thanks!

the art of survival part I

2005-04-04T10:32:00.000+08:00

Reading White Oleander by Janet Fitch has influenced my thinking with its poetic but sometimes cheesy words. Miggy was telling me that summer really is the time you get to think about everything. You scrutinize every detail and take it to much larger proportions. I remember three or four summers ago that I suffered through such a depressing period. I locked myself up with my boombox, charcoal pencils and sketchpad. I started drawing everything I saw, felt and desired. It was painful not having anyone to talk to for weeks. I cried for no reason but we don't need reason for tears. Last summer was milder but still I had my share of frowns. I drained my emotions on paper. Dreaming of wood and zombies. Writing so-called poetry then tearing them off and burning them. I drew on covers and kept them hidden. Now, I have reasons for a melancholic state. Its getting worse as the days go by. Taking its toll, painstakingly. It reminds me of Macbeth's soliloquy upon learning of his wife's death. Then Janet Fitch's words delivered by the character Ingrid echoed through my head:

Just make sure nothing is wasted. Take notes. Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, no one becomes an artist unless they have to.

I never considered myself an artist but her words were precisely what I needed. Why not manipulate loneliness into positive, creative and productive energy? I've been in this state since mid-February. I shall borrow another analogy from the book. Pain was a country they had heard of but one whose stamp has not yet been made on their passports. This is the reason I have been distant with a lot of people lately except for a few. Kat calls them her good company. I guess I have my own too. Its odd that not my whole barkada part of it and some of them are the least expected ones. How can I find something in common with a person who doesn't even know what pain is? I guess my good company would include those whose passports have been stamped.

All my dreams are crumbling in front of me. Though the hopes build up because there were reasons for it to get high. Then you start running for it. Only to find out that the mountain you've climbed was actually an overhang and you've fallen off of the edge. This is much painful than having an impossible dream. An impossible goal doesn't even have an anthill to climb so there's nothing fall off from. Having an impossible goal as opposed to having a goal which is within reach but failing to achieve it is like falling off from a one foot stool to free falling from a plane naked. It hurts more and you realize your dignity is gone. You lay there naked, broken and bleeding. In such state, "dead" is an understatement. Such a cheesy analogy but I think I am within reason.

Its the worst feeling in the world to be let down... hard. Especially if its an in-your-face kind of way. I dare not expose any other detail but yes, it does hurt. This is especially emphasized when you see all the people around you indulging in their self-absorbed happiness. Its human nature. If you're sad, you want sympathy. You want people to share in your misery. You start hating all those jubilant people around you. How dare they be happy? Leaving me here, alone, sulking. Maybe its not human nature, maybe its just a glitch in my system but that's just my two cents. If you're down, you could be selfish as well. Its normal. Being in such state, I deserve to be selfish. I deserve to be self-absorbed because it is only myself which I have.

Selfishness is inevitable. I am getting sick of being happy for other people. I deserve to be happy too but why can't I seem to reach such a point? I always have to live off secondary happiness which is being happy for the people around me. Nina kept telling me that this is just a phase and some day, I will be happy. I'm getting hopeless. I know I'm impatient but sometimes I feel that I don't deserve the pains which I endure. I know its partially my fault but I'd like to handle the ones which I brought about to myself. Not the ones which fate seemed to have blessed me with and are out of my control. I know I am free therefore I shall receive the penalty for my actions but what is up with the extra load? That was something I could never quite comprehend. I am talking about the pain which other people's actions have caused me. I don't deserve it. I didn't do anything wrong. It was out of my control. Why the hell, then, am I the one who's suffering?

Maika's words in one of our conversations were indeed painful. She revealed something which I didn't expect or maybe chose not to consider. Sometimes some things should be left unsaid and filed under History. Yet it is innate in me to know everything. When Maika told me something which happened in the past, I craved for more information. I wanted to know everything. Yet I know with the little knowledge I have, I'm already in agony. How much more if I knew all the details? Maybe I'm suffering right now because I want myself to suffer. I bring about the suffering as opposed to feeling apathy (paradox!) and indifference, I'd rather feel pain. I thought about those who hurt themselves deliberately. They watch blood flow from them. They then realize they bleed therefore they are alive. I thought to myself whether I would reach such point, but I don't think so. I guess its the vanity in me. I hate scars. How profound. I never got the point of suicide attempts. If you want to die, kill yourself already. Imbed a bullet in your brain. Stab your chest. Harakiri, at least you had your honor. I don't want to die. I'd rather solve things, these things I'm going through, rather than bail out and say "its been real." I'd rather be sorry than dead.

Is this about a boy? I wouldn't be honest in saying no. I wouldn't be honest in saying this is entirely about a male specie either. If I reveal further details, then my friends would already recognize. The situation was just vague. Everything just stopped. No goodbyes, no explanation, no nothing. He was like inertia. He was the outside force which stopped me from spinning. Here I am, suffering from the aftershock of the sudden stillness. Still dizzy, still wondering. I guess it was better this way. Everyone was against him. I could understand why. I never tell when something good happened. I only spoke when he did something wrong. Though, I saw his good side. The good side which he doesn't let much people to see. Heck, even his closest guy friends don't even know it. He opened up to me in our many hours of conversation, which was surprising. I saw the almost non-existent good side. Now, that's what I miss right now. I can't do anything. I won't do anything. I just need to get up from where I fell (refer to paragraph 4) and start limping on my own path. I've known it was a dead end. I was just in denial. Now, I need to get up, leave and save the dignity I have left.

As I said, I would be lying if I say that this is entirely about a boy. He's just a mere fraction of it. Someone who wrote a beatifully honest entry which I hold dear to my heart has inspired me yet made me realize a lot of things. I was a coward which I completely regret. She was the one who was brave. She deserves all the credit. I had my faults. She forgave me for them. I don't want to sound preachy but everyone could learn a thing or two from this. Even myself. Decisions in life can never be undone. You could make up for it but it won't erase anything in the past. Everything is etched on stone with fire. Yes, people can forget but its still there. There is time for regret but it doesn't end there. Getting up and moving on and being able to smile at the ones who hurt you, the ones who drained you of tears, the ones who made you lock yourself up in your room, I could go on and on... that's life. That's what's real.

What's beautiful about misery is when kept for too long, it turns into anger. As aforementioned, let nothing go to waste. I love the feeling of anger. The sudden surge of energy, the warming of the nape, the flushing of my cheeks and the feeling of invincibility. If I'm angry, then I'm productive. I suddenly want to set everything straight. My senses are at top shape, my reflexes are quick, my competitiveness is unbeaten. I could even kill and get away with it. Its beautiful. I won't be beautiful tomorrow. Its too quick, its too fast, its bound to die down after a while. Its better that way. Anger is a drug, I'm not just going to leave it in the dumpster.

So picking up from the quotation I shared above, this is me making sure nothing went to waste. This is me taking notes. Taking note of every tear, every insult, every poison I encounter. This is me trying to survive and somehow doing one hell of a job in doing so.

There are more to come hence this is the art of survival part I.

P.S. - Thanks to Kat, Maika, Nina and Miggy for inspiring sections of this entry. Thank you to my own set of good company. Thanks to Kat for providing me the courage to post this with her beautifully honest March 23, 2005 entry. (:

P.P.S. - This was written in a span of a week. Some emotions described may not be applicable anymore except at the time written. Feel free to personally question me about it. (:

rip pope john paul II

2005-04-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

RIP
Karol Wojtyla a.k.a. Pope John Paul II

He was a great man. ): Truly a person to be admired.
The pope was dope. For serious.

twinkle twinkle

2005-04-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Spontaneity seems to be the word this week. Tuesday, Kat told me she'll pick up the jacket which I borrowed. Then it turned into a last-minute gimmik. The next day, she picked me up and we went to Makati. We literally pigged out in Max Brenner. I ordered a White Chocolate Suckao. Kat got Mad Max (Is that what its called?) and Marangna. The latter is an aphrodisiac. Carlo arrived and the three of us shared the second round of Marangna. My body was suddenly warm and I felt really hyper.

Carlo showed me a picture of the guy I was supposedly crushing on. When I saw it, "Wrong guy!". Oops. We were just laughing it all off. Jia arrived and we all got up to watch a movie. We watched Be Cool. I was laughing so hard. The humor was subtle but I love it. Afterwards, we went to Timezone then Music One. I bought a CD for Kat. Why? It was her birthday! I had to use the plastic because I didn't have money with me. Meh. Next stop was Carlo's so-called homebase, Coffee Bean GB3. Talked, took pictures, ate, took pictures and took more pictures.

Jia was picked up by her brother. The three of us left for Urdaneta park. We played Ultimate Frisbee (or is it just ultimate?). I was the virgin, a newbie, the n00b. It was fun though. We did drills. Paulo and another guy taught me the basics. The crowd was okay. The kind of people which are more inclined in speaking in English as opposed to speaking in Filipino. The kind of people which would hang out with a boom box but use their iPods and iTrip for music. The kind of people which would smoke during their water break. The kind of people which seemed younger than their actual age. The kind of people which wouldn't care if you yelled out expletives out of frustration. They're really nice and welcoming. They didn't make it hard for me to fit in, especially being a virgin and all. Frisbee virgin, that is.

Afterwards, Carlo dropped us off at Kat's place in Crame. I said goodbye and stayed behind while Kat accompanied him outside. I have my reasons. (: I slept over. Kat and I bonded today (the day after). It was fun! I finally got to spend time with her after such a long time and after a lot of things. Thanks Kat! It was the most fun I've had in a while. I love you! Twinkle twinkle? Twinkle twinkle!

Just a random conversation after frisbee:
"Carlo."
"Yeah?"
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Right guy."
(insert laughter here)

Post script directed to the right guy:
My motive in writing this is not to embarass you. Heck, people don't even know you except for Carlo and Kat. Its just to clear things up. The "wrong guy" thing above was just a tactic Kat and I did to save me from a worse situation. It backfired. You could tell. My name is not Mela, Mel or whatever name you might have heard other people call me unless it was Cams or Camille. You've read things in my blog which I didn't expect you to read. I have no idea how but you did. I'm the one on the losing end of this spectrum. Please don't do anything to degrade me further. I'm not saying you did anything but don't make it worse for me. Don't worry, I will not chase you (doi!) or act weird around you. Its a friggin' crush. Honestly, I'm not even sure if its still there. Oh well. I promise, you won't even notice. See you during frisbee.

If he gets to read this, oh well. I've made an ass out of myself already. I'm coming clean. If not, another oh well.

never fade

2005-03-29T08:45:00.000+08:00

I woke up yesterday with no plans ahead of me. Then my phone rings. "Cams, sunduin kita, punta tayo kina Bea." It was Maika. So I called up my mum to ask for permission then asked my dad for permission as well as some money. Haha. Maika then picks me up and we headed for school. We met up with Bea, Pam, Caria and Chelly who were all in school for either the committee head interview or fulfilling requirements. After school, we headed to Big R. We did nothing because of the lack of planning and money. So we just hanged out in Tokyo Tokyo. Its been so long since I last went to Big R!

Pam, Bea, Maika and I went to Brookside. While on the tricycle headed for Nature's Camp, we passed by a store and someone familiar was seated on the stairs. It was Steve. We signaled him to go to Nature's Camp. When we got there, Bea refused to stay. So Pam and Bea went to Pam's house and Maika and I stayed behind. We met up in Nature's Camp and I was persuading Bea to come along over the phone.

Maika, Steve and I sat down on the bench. Heaven! After being exposed to the scorching heat of summer sun, I finally set my eyes on two electric fans. We just hanged out for a while. Half the time, we were talking to Bea and asking her to come over. She finally agreed and we picked her up, leaving Steve behind listening to Maika's ipod.

So there were four. Steve drank beer (within moderation), smoked and listened to The Blood Brothers in my ipod. Maika and I drank gulaman. We waited for Iann. My head was aching and so were my feet. It was warm. I was sweaty. The bathroom was dirty. I was getting bored so I trapped a fly in my glass. Hohum. Iann arrived. Traffic daw eh. Bea left because of a family dinner. Iann, Maika and I left to eat. We ate kanto food in the oval. It wasn't good but it did serve the purpose of filling up my stomach. Maika and Iann dropped me off at Pam's place.

Pam and I watched Big Daddy and Spiderman 2. Gushed over James Franco and Tobey Maguire once again. Maika arrived. Then mum picked me up. I took a bath when I got home. When I woke up today, I forgot I took a bath because I still felt dirty from all the walking and use of public transportation so I took a bath again. Meh.

It was a pointless day, yesterday, but at least someone was happy. I wouldn't trade it for a day of coherence in school. It truly is summer. (:

summer goals

2005-03-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

In no particular order.

Take review classes.

Do the project I've been planning on for a year now.

Clean my room.

Garage sale!

Lose 20 lbs. I weigh 110 lbs. I want to drop down to 90.

Read at least 10 books.

Go out for a movie every Friday.

Create a new layout for my site.

Fix my LJ.

Fill up my iPod.

Sleep for a whole day.

What are your summer goals? Subject to change without prior notice.

radio friendly

2005-03-24T13:28:00.000+08:00

Tuesday was the last day for me as a high school junior. It might not seem much of an accomplishment but it is. You have no idea. Oddly enough, after the last test, no one cheered after the bell had rung. We had our Geom test and everyone was dreading the bell. Instead of cheers everyone either uttered expletives, clicked their pen and hit the table with it or breathed out a hopeless sigh. Its a multiple choice test but the answers were not in the choices. Oh well. There was a Lent presentation in the theatre afterwards. Benta yung babae na may mahabang baba.

After school, Caria, Pam, Dom, Anne, Bea, Nina and I went to Caria's house to freshen up. Then we went to Greenhills to celebrate Pam's birthday!

PICTURES

When we got there, we had to look for Jared first. Yus! We roamed around the mall first then opted for the tiangge since we didn't have much money.

Jared and Caria went off on their own.

We roamed around the tiangge buying different clothes, mostly tops.

Hanged out at a coffee shop because we were tired. My Caramel Frappuccino was for Omar. Anne's was for _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Bea's was for _ _ _ _ _. Haha.

Cam-whoring galore and iPod tripping!

We waited for Caria from her movie date.

We just headed to Superbowl since she was taking long.

Ordered the so-called birthday noodles, tofu with mushroom, sweet and sour chicken(?), chicken feet, suckling pig and of course, CRISPY LEMON CHICKEN!

Caria arrived. Jared refused to stay. Bad luck since his cousin, Paulo, was with him.

While waiting for our order, Nina, Dom and I left to buy Decadent cake from Goodies & Sweets.

It costs 600 bucks and it comes with the caramel dressing!

When we arrived, our food was being served. Hurrah!

Pig out! Not caring at all that its holy week. Heh. Pacing, mehn, pacing.

We plus the waiters sang Happy Birthday to Pam! Its a Superbowl birthday!

Benta! Sabay commercial daw... "Its a Superbowl birthday. We make your birthdays Super!" (thumbs up) Haha.

She got free ice cream.

We headed back to Goodies & Sweets to eat the cake. We spread caramel on our plates first then we put the slice on it.

All of us were on the verge of vomiting.

Afterwards, we headed straight to the Podium and hanged for a while. Free parking since Nina owns the parking lot. Whee.

Pam and Caria went off for a birthday drink. I actually declined. (:

We went home afterwards c/o Kuya Loloy, Caria's driver.

~~There's a piece of Strawberry Shortcake from Goodies & Sweets in the fridge. Its taking me a lot of self-control not to touch it.~~ I already did. Dammit!

Oh em gee! Lords of Dogtown starring John Robinson! He was my crushboy from the movie, Elephant!

P.S. - Gusto ko manood ng movie ni Hero at Sandara! Sino gusto sumama?

our need to bleed

2005-03-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

"Uy gawan mo naman ng letter si Thea. Alis na kasi siya this Saturday. Quiet ka lang ah. Bigay mo kay Carol tomorrow. Thanks."

Translation: "Hey please write a letter for Thea. She'll be leaving already this Saturday (for the US). Don't tell anyone. Give it to Carol tomorrow. Thanks."

So here I am writing another farewell letter for another friend leaving the country for good. I'm trying hard not to cry because I know that in the near future, another person who is much closer to me will be leaving. When Ken left, it was already awful. I only knew him for a span of weeks. Now that Thea's leaving, its worse since she's my classmate and we've been seatmates for quite some time. If this is how I feel when people who aren't really all too close to me leave, how much more when Trizza does as well? I'm sorry for being dramatic but Trizza, Aika and Bau had their share of drama as well so I guess I'm entitled to one too.

No point in dwelling on it right now since I need to study but you haven't seen the last of this. I just needed to let that out.

the yearning, its getting stronger

2005-03-20T12:06:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, we had our Medical-Dental Mission. I was a volunteer. I took the temperature and weight of the kids. I handled the armpits and the feet. Hurrah. It was fun though. There were a lot of kids! It was fun playing with them while I took their temperature. Oh well. Pictures are here.

The week went by. I was in a daze. I snapped back to reality on Thursday though. It was hard not to if you dive into the freezing cold pool and do the tumble turn for the nth time. Frustrating but fun. I had water in my brain the whole day which was bad because we had our LTs in Algebra, Geometry and Chemistry. Dispersal is a word which doesn't exist in the vocabulary of our teachers. Friday, we had our finals in CLE and Health. Saturday, we had History and Algebra finals. Yes, a Saturday. Monday, we'll have English and Chemistry. Tuesday will be for Filipino and Geometry.

It'll be summer already after that. I don't want the schoolyear to end. ): It seems so far right now. Two more days of studying. Two more days of soupy tests.

P.S. - I have a reason for the title and the current music. Oh, the current music is Typecast - The Infatuation Is Always There. I slept through that song last night on repeat.

fractions

2005-03-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

I don't EVER want to forget yesterday and the earliest hour of today. After the way of the cross, Kat, Aika, Trizza, Maika, Nina, Anne and I went to Kat's house to freshen up. Afterwards, we went to Eastwood. Ken was going to be there to be with Mafe, Avic and Blu. We just wanted to give Anne's gift and my letter. Then just go to OJs to grab a few drinks. That was the plan.

Maika and I ate first at Fazoli's while Trizza, Aika and Kat went to Gweilo's to catch Chubibo's set. Maika and I ordered Pizza and Spaghetti Al Pesto. Best dinner I've had since the prom! Then we went to Gweilo's. Carlo was there. I said hi, he told me where Kat was and some chismax about some guy. I accompanied Maika to meet up with Iann in front of Gweilo's.

We went to OJs. Ken arrived and all of us hanged out. We took pictures. Kat treated us to a Weng Weng Grande. Trizza and Aika ordered tuna belly and chicken barbeque, respectively. We walked around afterwards. Then proceeded to the arcades. I had to refuse temptation to play since I only had 200 bucks left with me.

As you've probably read in my past entries how down I was. It might just be one day out of a long time of blues but still I could honestly say, last night, I was happy. Even for only one night, I was happy.

I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Thanks Ken, Kat, Gaddi, Miguel, Marben, Aika, Trizza, Maika, Iann, Quincy, Nina, Anne, Carlo, Camille and Christian. I really enjoyed last night. (:

BYE KEN!

symbiont

2005-03-09T18:22:00.000+08:00

This will be one obscure entry but since its hell week... weeks rather, I need all the innanities to oppose or maybe just equalize thinking logically the whole day.

We were in Health class and we were discussing stress and depression. How appropriate. Ms. Evie posted a visual of the symptoms. I got four out of six. I considered that maybe I'm just suffering from the blues. Then I read my hand outs and it said that depression usually lasts from weeks to months. Wow. I've been in this state for a whole month now. I don't want to consider myself suffering from clinical depression. That's just... depressing. But here I am being told by scientific facts that I am. Loss of weight, low self-esteem, oversleeping, hoplessness and restlessness. I haven't gone as far as the hallucination part but I guess that would be fun.

This schoolyear, the CSS opened a bakeshop. They sell cheap but delicious bread. I always buy the "Bread of Life" and some orange/apple/dalandan juice (whichever option is available). We call the bread as such because its a huge loaf of bread with minimal cheese inside. It looks like the bread eaten by Sarah and Becky in the cartoon Princess Sarah hence the name. They sell some pretty good pastries as well. Did I mention cheap? The combination I always buy which consists of the bread and juice only costs eighteen bucks all in all. Whee! Though, what I really miss is our Tapa Tuesday. Caria and I memorized the schedule of the Tapa selling. It moved from Tapa Tuesday to Tapa Wednesday to Tapa Thursday. Now there's Pork Tapa day which is a wee bit more expensive than the usual.

Something I wanted to share in English class but was unable to because I went to the bathroom. Death is inevitable. If its time to die, you die. Its not a pessimistic point of view rather a realistic one which faces a connoted negative subject (death). If you commit suicide, you decide to take your own life which is wrong according to Christian beliefs. It is not God's plan that a person does such an act but its that person's choice to defy God's will. That seems preachy but oh well. Being in an accident is a different matter. If you're in a car crash, you're wounded but alive, you struggle to survive because that's part of human nature. Oh wait... I forgot my point. I had it during English class. Neekol and Lianne got it. Meh. Maybe I should add "Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions." in my depression symptoms.

I got a 98% in Geometry! Saan ka pa?! Pardon my vanity. My ego seems deflated lately. Haha. Oh, its fun to argue with your English teacher. Only two weeks left of school. I DON'T WANT THE SCHOOLYEAR TO END! Dammit.

non-zero possibility

2005-03-06T13:25:00.000+08:00

Jeff invited Pam and I to the D2005 grad party in Ayala Heights. We were shitty dates. Haha. I ate prawns and fish filet(?) plus some salad. Pam and I drank two glasses of wine while everyone's still on their first round. Kuya Rene, Jeff's driver, was fun. He likes chicken inasal. I got a rose in the end. Their class was funny even their teacher. Jeff won the Class Lover award which had the description: Lover of all gender and ages. Well deserved, Winnie babe. Oh well. It was fun. (:

Pam and I went to Eastwood in our cocktail dresses. Den, Agot, Ken and the rest of the guys were already leaving so I guess we were late to get drunk. Dodged stares for looking like lesbian lovers on a formal date. We were late for the Series of Unfortunate Events last show so we just played in the arcade. We just hanged out at Coffee Bean afterwards.

He was with this girl and he was drunk. They were getting up to leave already. We just came in. I kissed my friends goodbye. I was not acknowledging his presence. On the way down, he went back up, stood in front of me and yelled.

"Cams! Cams! Cams!"
"What?"
"Cams!"
"Ano?!"
"Weng weng."
"..."
"Cams! Cams!"
"Ken!"
"Weng weng."
"Tumira ka nanaman ng Chuckie noh?"

Intellectual conversations as such I hold dear to my heart. At least, he recognized me and got my name right even if he was drunk. Whereas he's sober and he couldn't even get the names of my friends right. I don't really care if he gets to read this.

sing with me, child

2005-03-05T21:57:00.000+08:00

First point:
COULD EVERYONE PLEASE STOP LYING TO ME?!

Dammit. Everyone's fucking insensitive. I'm not oversensitive not to be able to handle the truth but its a whole lot fucking worse finding out about your dishonesty.

Second point:
God has this way of blessing you. You feel happy and almost invincible. He also has this way of taking back everything in a snap. These are the times when my mind seems feeble to comprehend his plans which are by the way beyond scrutiny.

Third point:
Nothing is constant anymore. The people I thought and claimed they were there for me, were not after all. I feel abandoned. I mean, who among my friends actually know my emotional turmoil and the twists and turns I've been through? Two? Three?

Fourth point:
It was all downhill from that day.

akbay ng ambon

2005-03-02T19:37:00.000+08:00

Last Friday was prom night. Nina and I were supposed to have a date during the post prom but it didn't push through. So Saturday, the both of us went to the Seniors '05 Legacy. It featured Rivermaya and Spirit of '67. Hah. I had fun. I used to like Rivermaya so much especially when I was in grade school. I kind of outgrew them. I like them but not as much. That didn't stop me from enjoying though. They never fail to put up a good performance. Even though I've seen them play live for free, I didn't mind at all paying 250 bucks to see them again. Haha. (:

I didn't get a hangover from the prom but in this concert, I did. Oh, I am forever haunted by the sounds of Rico Blanco moaning with the nuns watching. Haha.

Since when have I passed up a chance at vanity?

Oh fuck. I have a dyslexic camera.

Kim, Leah and Carol with some boys.

Nina and I. (:

Obviously its a one-sided relationship. That's Rulf, Maika's brother, behind me.

a walk on the red carpet

2005-02-27T14:50:00.000+08:00

Friday was the Juniors' Night. I agree with Megeh in saying proms are overrated. Yes, it was fun but its not as nerve-wracking and different from any other formal event. Its not even worth the eight months of worry every junior has to go through. Haha. If I knew this, I would have studied my Geometry longer than trying to come up with a prom dress. (:

My date was Kriz Ocampo. He was kind enough to agree to take me to the prom with less than a week to go. Yus! Niña persisted to pick us up so I agreed. Kriz dropped by my house, took pictures then Nina with her date Paul picked us up. I made a stupid move of opening the car door when the gentleman should be doing such action. Haha.

We got there around 7pm. The place was decorated in an old Hollywood theme. The name of the event was A Walk On The Red Carpet. Nothing much to tell. Yes, I went through what everyone goes through during proms. (: The Bloomfields played. Schwee. Nothing overly embarrassing happened to any of us. It was fun. (: Our post prom was at Camille's house. I think Camille was the happiest out of all the BFFs (cringe at the name). Prom princess! Haha. Her place was the perfect hangout. We bought drinks. That was when the fun began. Oh well.

I'm too lazy to edit out the pictures right now. So I'll just post them all in my photobucket account. I shall be editing these and compiling them in a collage when I get the time. (:

Kriz, Nina, Paul, Caria, Jared, Anne, Ken, Nique, Tino, Aika, Kris, Trizza, Jake, Chelly, Jio, Camille, Christian, Eizel, Alvin, Gads, Miguel, Bea and Carlo: Thanks for making it a fun night for me along with everyone else. (:

Prom Preparations | PROM!

P.S. - If you're too lazy to view the pictures now, I shall be posting these in a much concise, edited and presented in a much more creative way soon. (: I promise. I just have schoolwork to worry about right now. Oh, and I'm much more excited to post the Rivermaya pics. Haha.

you would kill for this

2005-02-24T23:14:00.000+08:00

Juniors' Night (prom) tomorrow. Eep. :s

camsology

2005-02-21T17:39:00.000+08:00

I'm done with ANTICAMEL! Change your links to:

http://camsology.blogspot.com/

you're not my shining star tonight

2005-02-21T17:12:00.000+08:00

This is vague but these people really deserve a single post all for them. I owe a lot to Bea, Maika, Ate L.A., Jeff, Justin, Pam, Erren, Jordan, Nina, Mehgeh and Giselle. Thank you so much. You were the ones who managed to reach out and talk to me when I was bawling my eyes out.

Panalo ka, Jordan. (: I really wish you were my prom date.

without you in my plans for forever

2005-02-19T11:21:00.000+08:00

The past week was a blur of ups and downs. I thought something was constant. Now, I know I was mistaken. Oh yes, I'm not going to the prom with any of my prospect prom dates but I shall be set up by my mum with a family friend whom I haven't even met. ): Whoopdedoo. I was really hoping Jordan would be my date. It seems impossible now.

Yesterday, the committee heads had a meeting so we had to stay after school. Maika went home for a while then came back. It ended at around 5:30. I changed. Iann and Ched picked us up at school. Bea was supposed to come but she wasn't allowed. We were also supposed to go to the UP fair but because our parents are so much fun, they didn't allow us. The four of us just went to Big R and watched Constantine. I shall restrain myself from commenting about the movie so as not to spoil anything for those who are interested to watch it. I had fun.

Lets just get the prom over with. Konting tiis na lang naman e. Its not my biggest problem anyway. ):

P.S. - Maika and Bea, salamat.
P.P.S. - I'll miss Beloved.

pray for better days

2005-02-13T18:06:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, I went to Eastwood with Caria and Niña. Caria had a date. We met up with Gaddi, Miguel, Bea, Carlo, Jordan, Maika, Iann, Nique, Santino and Jared. Here's the date match-up for that day. Caria - Jared; Gaddi - Miguel; Bea - Carlo; Maika - Iann; Nique - Santino; Trizza - Jake

Everyone's growing up. I, on the otherhand, did not have a date. So Nina was my date.

We ate at Fazoli's. Then we proceeded to Tokyo Tokyo since some of us wanted some Japanese food.

Afterwards we went back to Fazoli's because some wanted Italian food.

Nina and I went around the tiangge. I bought new slippers.

I was forced to since my feet were sore for using my brand new not-yet-broken-in shoes. Nina bought a pouch.

Kate, Denise and a particularly pretty Chinese girl were there too.

We went back to Fazoli's since they were done eating.

Maika, Iann, Gaddi, Miguel, Bea, Carlo, Jordan, Nina and I went to the arcade.

Nina and I splurged on a particular game involving cars and high speed.

I lost! Bano!

We played Air Hockey with Kate, Denise and the Chinese girl. (: Kate and I lost. Haha.

Jordan and Miguel played the game with the motion sensors! Benta yung matrix.

Nina dragged me away to talk about something. Bea did too.

We saw Eizel, Aika, Trizza and Jake. Haha! Churchboy! Group pic!

Nina and I had to go home. She brought me home. Thanks, Nia!

I'm still waiting for nothing.

At least my worries and my problems were somehow pacified temporarily. I wish I could tell you how much fun I had. I wish I could describe to you the sound of my laughter which I haven't heard for months. I wish I could tell you I was happy. I can't because that would be a lie. I won't because I know it will all end once I hit my bed. I'll be back to the same old routine.

That was one in-your-face experience. Quicksand slowly swallows you. Just when you think you can't sink any lower, you still do. The more frantic your struggles get the lower you get. When the sand is already up to your neck and particles start going up your nostrils, you know its pointless. There's nothing left to do but to be still and let it envelope you whole. Maybe a vine will soon graze your hand but most of the time, people are too busy with themselves, oblivious to the fact that you are being swallowed by an inanimate object. Sometimes you don't bounce back. Sometimes you're just stuck. Nothing left to do but sit down and let it all pass by. It has to go in the past and file it under history some time.

Thanks, Pam and Bea. Thanks to Michelle, Maika, Katia, Robert, Kax, Nina and Kat as well. You guys really cheered me up. (: Katia, I still owe you a y!m conversation.

interview at the ruins

2005-02-10T15:14:00.000+08:00

Everything's going wrong once again. To put it conversely, nothing ever went right anyway. Am I such a bad person? Why does this feel like a punishment? Punishment for what, exactly? I've done nothing except do my schoolwork, meet the deadlines, work my ass off and stay up late just to comply with the different requirements. I know this will sound so selfish but I'm sick of working to make other people happy when I can't even make myself happy. Its hypocritical. I'm sick of seeing everyone so happy while I just sit in one corner wondering why can't I be like them. Hari ng sablay? Oh please, that's an understatement. Plus, its a cliché and an annoying one at that. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of worrying. I can't even remember the last time I laughed out of genuine glee. Looking back a year ago, I was happy. I was content. What the hell happened? Nothing's right anymore.

To all those who cared, who called me, who sent me text messages out of sheer concern, to all those who even noticed: thank you. I envy all of you. I really do and I'm sick of it. You have the strength to reach out to me when I can't even fucking be there for all of you. I love you. Please understand.

I miss being REALLY productive and loving my work.

I miss falling asleep without having to cry.

I miss getting excited to go to school.

I miss praying and just thanking God for everything.

I miss the feeling of stability and security.

Maybe I should look on the bright side. Oh right, there's no bright side to begin with. I need someone to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. I remember Michiko saying "Love me when I least deserve it. That's when I need it the most." Or something along those lines. I have this propensity to paraphrase. True. True. I'm tired. I need sleep.

P.S. - I don't know what happened. No one was supposed to find out.

in between days

2005-02-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, things sort of lightened up. My grade in Algebra seems to have been pulled up. I gave up my pride and submitted the English paper which Sir Eric claims I did not submit but I know for a fact that I did. Dad and I are back to high-fiving and arm-punching terms. Swimming class was the highlight of the day. Nothing beats swimming from 7:00am-ish to 9:00am in 23 degrees celsius temperature. I lost my earrings but miraculously, before CLE class, I got it back! There are still selfless people out there.

Today tops off all the bad days of the week. I thought the series was broken yesterday. It didn't turn out to be bad except that the moment the bell rang signifying the end of Chemistry class, I found out I was debating! I have no idea what the motion was about. Worst of all, I did not matterload. I just went to AFS with a pen. I got teamed up with Noelle. We were closing government. The motion was, the moratorium on logging should be lifted. I completely fucked up. I don't want to get into the details but I did. We ranked first though. Mainly because of Noelle. How degrading on my part but oh well, I shall be a freeloader this time. (: I STILL CRINGE REMEMBERING EVERYTHING I HAD SAID AND MY MANNER OF DELIVERY.

Moral of the story? Bulletin boards serve a purpose even if you lose trust due to its outdated impression. Haha. I owe someone a phone call. So long.

what's another word for desperate (fuck censorship)

2005-02-02T21:38:00.000+08:00

I HATE SIR ERIC! I really do. I got a 92 on my finals and an 88 on my mid-quarters, my fucking average (in the report card) ends up as 85. Really, that man has not been introduced to the wonders of mathematics. He hates my guts whenever I contradict everything he says. Last time I checked, the Philippines is a democratic country and I am entitled to my own opinion whether he likes it or not. ****NG INA NIYA! Seryoso. I don't care even if his mom just died last year. He ruined my grades and I swear, I'll be out to get him. I won't stop until I feel that I have reciprocated the damage he has done to me: tarnishing my report card and my ego. I shall be filing complaints and tomorrow, I will talk to our Class Adviser regarding this matter. This has gotten too far. For serious. He'll be sorry.

I may or may not be serious about what I said in the paragraph prior to this one. I shall handle this in a manner which is calm and straightforward.

Sir Eric, I must give you credit for somehow being an effective teacher but I don't see the point why you're such a sadist who would rather see your student fail than celebrate a good grade. You find every loophole to pull our grades down. You victimize my classmates with your mockery and innate talent for embarrassing people. You have given me criticisms which I have not received from other teachers. You complement my writing. Those praises have never been reflected on my grade, though. That is what I do not understand. You complement my report yet give me a low class standing of 85. Even Giselle. Are you doing this because we're always the ones who voice out our complaints whenever you give us a week to finish a project that would take a fortnight to do? Is it because whenever something is ambiguous, we are always the ones who point it out? If so, then you are immature and you contradict everything that you have said to us. I am not going to make fun of you not being able to speak in Filipino, your accent or your gait. I've always had respect for you. We just want you to equalize that with respect for us, as students.

I am having the worst week ever. Sure, there is one single highlight which I should be giddy about but I can't fully appreciate it right now. I just want this week to end. ):

Things:
[-] My English grade.
[-] Actually, all of my grades except for Geometry.
[-] Fall out with my dad.
[-] The many times I've embarassed myself in the past two days.
[-] Two long days before the end of the week.
[-] Algebra test results tomorrow.
[-] I'M SICK OF CRYING! I don't usually do it. Dammit.

I hate the feeling of anger. Its inevitable. Its taking a lot of self-control not to lock myself up, sojourn to my bed and have good, long surcease. See, he even taught me that word. I would like to apologize if reading this entry will piss you off or if I have somehow transferred my bad energy to you. I hope this will just be temporary.

around the dream

2005-01-30T14:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went to the Ateneo fair. It was boring but fun somehow. Oh well. Lets start from the beginning shall we. I came over to Nique's house. Caria was already there. Nique couldn't decide on what to wear so I just sat there watching Dismissed while munching on a Baby Ruth bar. Nina came to pick us up. We went over to Denise's house to pick her up as well.

We arrived in Ateneo and the bandfest was on. Bumping Into Trees was playing.

We ate pizza from Sbarro. Yus! Miguel-support all the way!

Kilchi played afterwards. I only caught their first song. We left for some reason.

We went to the bathroom. The stench was horrible. Denise's friend, Eds (sp?), was there. He was so grossed out with the boys bathroom.

"Dun ka na lang sa girls bathroom" "How I wish!" Haha.

I bought ballet flats from the tiangge. Haha.

We roamed around and well... roamed around until we got bored.

Saw Bea, Trizza, Pam, Eizel, Chelly, Gaddi and Miguel and hanged out with them for some time.

I saw the horrible scene of the ultimate infatuation for more than four years with girls who are all too familiar. I was nearly in tears.

Nique and I mustered the courage to just sit down on the floor of the corridor between 4L and 4M since we were tired.

Aika, Manny and Jake welcomed us into the obscurely decorated classroom.

Played around with the seemingly home-made guitar, K-hon and banjo(?).

I didn't know Manny was from Underscore. Hee. We were openly talking about Kiks.

"Jake! Diba taga-Antipolo ka?" "Hindi kaya! Marikina 'ko." "E bakit may nagsabi sakin taga-Antipolo ka tapos kumakanta ka daw sa simbahan sa Town and Country" "Ano?!?"

Manny and Aika ate the spaghetti which was used to decorate someone's hair. Haha.

Played shoot the soggy popcorn in Aika's mouth. If a popcorn didn't go in, Aika would pick it up from the floor and eat it.

Saw Miguel's woman alter ego, Miguellina. So pretty! Natatalo na kamandag ni Gads!

One on one talk with Aika. Aww! First time. Haha.

Eventually gave in and watched the variety show.

Saw Bea with prom date, Salem. Yus!

Maika came! She was with Typecast. Something was up for Bea during Typecast's set.

My night was cut short when we had to leave.

Bea. Second song. "This song is for Bea. Hi Bea." Woooo! Dedicate dedicate. d:

I have to agree with Trizza in saying: first years are such groupies! Magpakipot naman kayo.

Here are two pictures of me with Aika and Pam. I promised not to divulge the Miguellina picture. ):

taking for granted

2005-01-28T21:12:00.000+08:00

If you were wondering where I have been in the past week, which I doubt, I was in the quarterly hell week. Actually I had three weeks of endless project deadlines, presentations, tests and more tests. The oral defense seemed to have gone well. Our IP got chosen. (: Hurrah. Giselle, Jo-Ann, Tal-tal, Kat and Donna were quite competition though.

Yesterday, I went over to Kate's house thinking it would just be Caria, Kate and I. Then Denise, Cai and Niña came along. I thought we would be working all afternoon on the script. I guess all of us were tired and we all just hanged out at Kate's. The thing about Kate's house is that its huge! They have lots of food and DVDs. Denise brought her Seventeen Prom Issue. For the first time, I became a typical girl who watches movies with friends, eating junk food, talking about random stuff and viewing magazines. Oh, I have succumbed to the stereotype!

I got my dress made today. I got the design from Denise's magazine. Its vague and I'm very doubtful about it. Oh well. Lots of other things to worry about besides a single night in February. (This is my lame attempt to conceal ~~excitement~~ anxiety for such event.)

Refurbish the IP and submit a better version.

Make progress report for a non-progressing committee.

Begin reading Macbeth.

Finish Dekada '70.

Oh, I saw Leloy and Glenn on ANC's Private Conversations With Boy Abunda. (: There's a replay later.

P.S. - Sorry I haven't been around reading and commenting on your entries. (:

sugar pill

2005-01-22T19:02:00.000+08:00

Last night, Maika, Iann and I went to the Garden of Enia gig. It was sponsored by Gardenia bread. Go figure. Oh well. I was the third wheel! Haha. Despite such out of place conditions, I had fun.

We met up at Shakeys Katipunan. Caria, Nina, Dom and Denise were there as well. They were to leave for the soireé in Ayala Heights. As we walking, I saw someone who I was trying to avoid and forget. Turns out Iann was pissed of with this guy. They call him "Seven Strings". Yabang daw kasi. We walked from the Blue Eagle Gym all the way to the high school area. Good thing the venue was air-conditioned.

We got in Hayes Hall and this certain band was playing. The voice was rather annoying and guess what they sang. Anino Mo by Slapshock. I'm mean, I'm sorry. We went out first to look for a bathroom. Lets digress this in a band per band manner since this is the first time I'm seeing some of these bands play.

Hair Meets The Eye
I first noticed how beautiful the vocalist... 's jacket was. It was blue and maroonish. I kept swearing to Maika that I would look for such jacket and buy it. They played a particularly good set. Iann said that the vocalist sounded a bit like Julius of Speltbackwards. I concur. I could tell this band is quite a favorite. I'm not familiar with the songs they played except for "Through The Glare" and "Miles Away". I love the new one which they played before the last song.

Kilchi
Sorry Miggy, but I quite sense a whole Chicosci connotation. Though, they sound nothing alike. They also have the auxilliary percs, the cropped name and a Miguel-vocalist. Haha. I really do appreciate the additional percussions. It resulted to a heavier sound. "Gusto ko tunog nila", Maika agreed. I really liked their bassist. Panalo! There's something familiar in the way he moves and best of all he was smiling. Masaya. I didn't like the shoes of one of your guitarists though. I say this in an unbiased way, (insert random words of praise here). Galing.

Narda
Nothing much to say. Katwo's voice never fails to make me swoon. Plus she's so pretty!

13 Needles
Three vocalists! I didn't think it was possible to get away with such a number of vocalists without appearing like a boyband who plays rock music. No one overshadowed another though. Everyone had an equal amount of work to do. (I like the cap of one of the vocalists.) I liked their set better than Plane Divides The Sky. They're definitely one of those bands who can put up a great record and not disappoint you when playing live. That's quite rare now, isn't it?

Plane Divides The Sky
Hyperactive and hilarious. Well at least the vocalist is. They played a couple of originals and one cover or was that two. I personally preferred their latter songs. Especially when one of the 13 Needles vocalists was with them. Their drummer is beyond praise! Plus, he played for 13 Needles as well. Haha. Two sets in a row. They were awesome but I just expected so much more. I have no idea why I was disappointed. Oh, no particular piece of clothing stood out. The vocalist reminded me of a tamer Cedric Bixler Zavala. Haha.

We went home after Plane Divides The Sky's set. The blackboard said that Hanson and Spiral Staircase were to play. Haha. Don't blame me for the wrong spelling of Spiral Starecase. That was how it was spelt on the boards. I was pretty sure Maika and Iann finally got their time alone after I left. Haha.

That's it for my pseudo-gig review with innane ramblings regarding clothes.

synthetic ecstasy

2005-01-16T16:55:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went to Big R with Maika and Bea. Something the three of us haven't done in ages. Whee! We ate pizza and watched Ocean's 12. We saw Dom with her family.

During that time, my mum went to the party of the daughter of her best friend. She was chatting up some of her friends in the party. This woman beside her started freaking out, yelling, "Dugo! Ang dami! Ate, may dugo!" (Blood! Lots of it! There's lots of blood.). The woman who was yelling was pointing to someone. My mum turned and she saw one of the guests in the party was throwing up blood and lots of it. Turns out, the guest had Aneurism and this was her second attack. The kids were ushered outside and the guest was rushed to the hospital.

Poor mum, she was freaked out the whole night yesterday.

Trizza lent me both her CDs of The Vines! Haha. She made me do this...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Camille
2. Cams
3. Camel

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. shotgunpulse_
2. rocketspill
3. dollswreck

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I love music. (Amen, Trizza.)
2. I can live on both ends of the spectrum.
3. I can be the nicest person when I want to be.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I have no conversational skills.
2. I'm vertically challenged.
3. I'm ugly.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Filipino
2. Arabian
3. Portuguese (especially my last name)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Death of a loved one.
2. Destruction of the natural balance in everything.
3. Everyone thinking alike

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music or iPod
2. Water
3. Sleep

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Grey baggy shirt
2. Boxer shorts
3. Pink undies

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS OR ARTISTS:
1. The Mars Volta
2. Copeland
3. Coheed and Cambria

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Copeland - May I Have This Dance?
2. The Mars Volta - Drunkship of Lanterns
3. Incubus - Azwethinkweiz

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Study harder.
2. Get into my dream university and dream course. Try at least.
3. Get into the top 20 of my batch.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Honesty/openness
2. Interesting and unforced conversations
3. Fun!

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I adore Omar Alfredo Rodriguez-Lopez.
2. I like eating oranges while listening to Fugazi.
3. That is my least vulnerable spot.

THREE THINGS THAT APPEAL TO YOU ABOUT A PERSON:
1. Awesome taste in music.
2. Looks and talent. (I cheated!)
3. Preppy? Just kidding. Mystery and intensity.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:
1. Get thin!
2. Study without cramming.
3. Abstain from music.

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Falling asleep while listening to Copeland.
2. Staring into space.
3. Create meaning for the meaningless.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Stuff my History book and its contents in my brain.
2. Go to Puerto Rico/Mexico/Cuba.
3. Sleep.

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
1. Law.
2. Anything politics related.
3. Film director.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Puerto Rico!
2. Italy
3. Egypt

THREE KIDS NAMES:
1. I'll name a boy after an enzyme.
2. I'll name a girl after a part of a cell.
3. I'll name a ____ after a planet.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Direct, produce a movie.
2. Marry a Hispanic boy who can dance and play the guitar.
3. Get marked down in History books with a great achievement.

for keeps

2005-01-11T10:01:00.000+08:00

Sunday, I woke up with my cough but with the addition of a cold. I got some Strepsils (lozenges) and started laying back down on the bed. Then I coughed. The lozenge went to the back of my mouth. I sat up and started to struggle. Here I was, six in the morning, everyone still asleep, choking on a lozenge. What did I do? I gulped it down with a pretzel and a glass of water. After my near-death adventure, I started to lay back down again and thought about that story about a kid who ate M&Ms while inclined and the M&M went to his lung. I couldn't sleep anymore.

Yesterday, I went to school today despite my condition. We had our Public School Teaching. We told them the story of the Three Kings then taught them values in correlation to the story. We had tons of prizes for them. Whoa. Riot! They were even chanting. Its one of those stereotypical kid movies where the kids overpower the older ones. Meh.

I'm absent today. I hate my condition especially whenever I have those endless coughing fits. Grr. I wish I could go to school. I hate feeling out of place. Oh well. At least, I have time to catch up on my already-piled-up homework.

it feels so good to die today

2005-01-08T07:39:00.000+08:00

Came from the pre-prom only a few hours ago. Vague memories actually I have lost chronology of events. I didn't take pictures. (I kept leaving my bag on the table.) I'm supposing Pam did but suppositions are suppositions. We can't rely on that.

Caria picked me up and we waited for some asshole in Ateneo.

We got there. Everyone looked pretty. I felt inferior.

Timmy was there(!!!) Eek.

Carlo, Kat's prom date, was there as well.

I remember talking to a boy named Cholo. I have no idea what I said though.

I remember climbing the jungle gym in a skirt.

I think I kissed two girls on the lips. Bea and Maika?

Then I just remember being in Caria's car going home.

I told you its vague. I can't believe that was just a few hours ago. It felt like ages. I remember this feeling of giddiness though. I have to leave. I'm up this early because I have to go to Aika's house for a project. My head hurts, my throat feels sore and I'm in need of sleep.

valentine in chalked outline

2005-01-02T20:55:00.000+08:00

My valentine in chalked outline... you're finally mine.

Subject is Camille Ruivivar
Art direction by Camille Ruivivar
Photo taken by Celine Gaddi
Camera owned by Maika Valera

P.S. - Note the sarcasm in this post. HAHA!

summing up 2004

2004-12-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

It went by fast. A lot has happened. Things changed. Here are the memorable events of 2004.

Lord of The Rings: Return of The King

Hanging out during the Sulyap Lahi week. Fun times!

Funch formed. (:

Bio trip!

Going to the UP fair.

Asian fest!

My birthday celebration along with Eizel, Chelly and Gaddi!

An increase in my social life. Though, not enough.

Passing AFS.

Getting the position of Prom Security Committee Head, AFS Secretary, IP leader, and House Leader/Prefect. A once in a lifetime chance, a one I wouldn't embark on again. (:

Last three months of sophomore year. The best schoolyear ever!

Getting through second year.

Nique's overnight birthday party.

Bea's surprise birthday party in Eastwood.

Caria's foodtrip birthday party.

The whole of summer 2004!

Fox Square gig. (:

Falling for him all over again

Leadership training!

The Corns, Sors, Banams epidemic. Aay. Corns corns.

JOKE TIME!

Class encounter

Big R, Brookside, adbenturero trips with Funch!

Getting my hair cut really short.

Recollection.

Public School teaching.

That day. I had fun. Sorry!

Fair days!

Suspended classes. Its a guilt-trip but it does keep you out of school.

Bau's birthday party! (; Gaddi and Caria, alam niyo kung bakit.

Cramming for the IP which turned out to be fun because of 8-MCDO. Haha.

Christmas dinner with friends. (:

Christmas day!

Receiving the best gift ever!

le lave la sangre

2004-12-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

Since I have done nothing but download and listen to music. Here I am with a geeky and vain post.

I downloaded The Mars Volta's Frances The Mute. Its a leakage. The band's not too happy but I can't help it. It is indeed their best work yet. I adored De-loused In The Comatorium but I had my apprehensions. I was torn between loving At The Drive-In and The Mars Volta. Now I'm sealed. I love The Mars Volta. Even more than Coheed and Cambria now. Well a just little bit more than Co&Ca. You can't help but love the bilingual songs and the Mexican influence. There are only five tracks so far but it spans over an hour. Cassandra Gemini is around thirty minutes long. I love CEDRIC Bixler's whiny voice. (Note how close the name is.) I mentioned the thirty minute track, Cassandra Gemini to Myka and she called it marketing suicide. The Mars Volta was never one to compromise, were they. Plus, they give me the joy of having to digest music with so much elements included. You can never get sick of it because you discover something new even on your fifth repeat. In all honesty, what I'm getting sick of is pseudo-emo music. Hail progressive rock.

I like the funk-era Incubus. Think S.C.I.E.N.C.E. Was it Myka who lent me that CD during seventh grade? Oh well. I miss that. They went downhill from ~~Morning View~~ Make Yourself (Thanks, Robby). I love Aqueous Transmission though.

Nothing's really happening thus the infrequent entries. I'm reading American Gods, still. Plus, I still have a lot to do in order to save myself from embarrassment come January 3's panel reporting. I owe Bambi and Camille an apology. There's still the tessellations thing I need to finish.

PS - I just reread my past entry. Pardon the grammatical mistakes and misspelled words.

don't fake this

2004-12-25T18:18:00.000+08:00

Christmas was awesome! My sisters came over with their families. (: We had Noche Buena, gift giving and some games. Haha. We assigned the kids to deliver the gifts to the receivers. Whenever they're name is called, they'll halt and drop the gift they're supposedly delivering and open theirs. That was fun.

During the gift giving, mum gave me this little box for a present. It was from, Mom and Dad. Inside was a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. It was okay. Its a favorite of mine anyway. Then out of nowhere, someone handed me this cube-shaped box which is much larger. It was from Mom and Dad yet again. I was puzzled since why would they give me two gifts for Christmas? I opened it and the yellow caught my eye. On it was the sillhouette of a girl dancing with an iPod! I couldn't believe it. I started screaming and yelling. I kept saying thank you to my parents. Hurrah! So there's my little Christmas story. (: A 20GB iPod for Christmas.

So there. I got to cross something out of my wishlist. (: I hope I could cross out the first two as well. Haha.

Merry Christmas!

christmas only comes once a year

2004-12-24T18:10:00.000+08:00

Here's a little present I prepared for those of few who are far away. Oh well. Just to let you feel the Christmas spirit even for a bit. (: I would have put more but you might not download it if I did.

CHRISTMAS.ZIP!
[01] Copeland - Do You Hear What I Hear
[02] Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
[03] Gatsby's American Dream - Christmas Time Is Here
[04] Hanson - At Christmas
[05] Hanson - Merry Christmas Baby
[06] Hanson - What Christmas Means To me
[07] Jason Gleason - Sleigh Bells and Wine
[08] Relient K - Silent Knight
[09] The Used - Alone This Holiday

P.S. - My current music speaks of the truth. Haha. Well not actually alone but alone in that sense. Preppy boyfriend, where art thou? Haha.

far from now

2004-12-23T18:09:00.000+08:00

We had our restaurant evaluation today. Around noon, Gaddi came over my house. We went boy-hunting and girl-hunting in friendster. At 1:30pm, Miguel came over and picked us up. We went to McDo Katipunan to meet up with Eizel and Aika. We then went straight to Burgoo in Tomas Morato, which is owned by Miguel's family. Sabi na nga ba isa sa mga restaurants nila Miguel ang bagsak natin e. I heard someone say.

Maika, Iann, Andy and Steph arrived. Then we drew on the huge paper covering the table with the crayons provided. Its a sort-of facet of Burgoo, which I highly approve of. Haha. The inner artists in Gaddi and me were let loose. Err. We had an interview with the manager. Then we ate. Afterwards, Gaddi and Miguel left then the rest of us commuted to Big R. Spent most of the time with Aika and Eizel. We ate in Star Carrots for dinner. Haha. We then commuted to Masinag then I went home. Here I am, my head aching and having a difficult time breathing because of too much Carbon Monoxide in my body.

I actually have pictures but I'm not really in the blogging mood. Oh, expect a venting, brutally honest post sometime soon.

P.S. - I love you, Carina!

tiny little fractures

2004-12-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

Christmas break is here. I have done nothing but read, download mp3s (The Cure!) and talk to Caria on the phone. Well with the expected exception of sleep, eat and take a bath. Trizza gave me Veronika Decides To Die, I'm ~~on the brink of finishing it~~ done. I'll start up with American Gods afterwards, which I've postponed for two weeks now. Then I'll revert back to Jane Eyre. Yes, I must read to cultivate my decrepit mind.

Reading Veronika Decides To Die struck a nerve. I can't help but wonder when the moment, a single magical moment that made them set off in search of their own vision of paradise, will come or if it will ever come. Maybe I should wallow myself up in shizophrenia, get myself locked up in an asylum, escape and get drunk then maybe it'll come. Its probably just the aftermath, but then maybe everything is just as inane as it seems. We just need to be insane to make sense of it all. Whoopdedoo.

This will be cheesy but I'll take the risk. Wait, kanta yun diba? Hehe. Anyway, have you seen that video Kiss - Because I'm A Girl? Ampotah! Bali ganito, may mag-boyfriend-girlfriend... whatever you call them. Lovers? I guess. The guy was a photographer. She cut up a polaroid of her and pasted it on a polaroid of the guy. He was taking pictures of the girl. The girl went to the dark room, may chemical na nagspill sa eyes niya. She was brought to the hospital and had an operation and she was able to see afterwards. But the guy left her. So she succumbed to her depression by eating ice cream. Typical, much? Then she was on the street and he saw this guy with sunglasses who looked like his boyfriend, he had a dog with him. The wind blew and a photograph fell to the ground coming from the direction of the guy. He was trying to look for it with his hand. The girl picked it up and it was a picture of her. She started crying and she returned it to the guy. The guy just uttered a some sort of thank you. She just stood there crying. Gets niyo? Wala lang, kinilabutan lang ako afterwards. Haha. Trust me not to cry while watching The Notebook but get affected enough to blog about a video whose language I can't even comprehend.

I got an audioscrobbler account, out of boredom. Unnecessary but its fun anyway. If you have an account, add me: ~1976. I have no idea how those *NSync mp3s got there. (twiddles thumbs) Oh, I have a new layout HERE. (:

one more word

2004-12-18T21:57:00.000+08:00

We did it! After four sleepless nights, we finished our investigatory project. Who would suspect shampoo to actually contain Lead? Oh well. I'm just glad we just need minor alterations for the future submission of the final paper. Chemistry test was hell. English, Algebra and Geometry were tolerable. Nowadays, that's something to be happy about. (:

We did nothing yesterday, as opposed to the past three days which contained tests, projects, quizzes and homework. It was fun to be able to hang out with my friends without the worry of an upcoming test after lunch. We had the house party and the class party. Then we had mass. Afterwards, we went to Saisaki, Dads and Kamayan to eat.

In school, we had this Christmas presentation in the Assumpta theatre. Musically-inclined people played Christmas songs, with the whole school as the audience. I slept.

We had our exchange gift. I gave Eizel the CD, The Very Best of The Beach Boys which was placed in a shoebox. She was literally in tears. Glad she liked my gift.

Trizza gave me a shoebox as well. Written on it was "Haha! Sorry hindi rainbow colored na chucks!" (Sorry, its not rainbow-colored chucks). Inside was the book, Veronika Decides To Die. AAAH! I couldn't put it down.

Hanged out in the playground while waiting for the mass. I smelled like rust for hanging out on the swing.

After mass, we went to Caria's house. Dom and Caria got all pretty.

We stopped by my house. So I could take a bath and change. "Got all pretty" isn't really what I would describe it.

Everyone was to come in a skirt so I wore a schoolgirl skirt, Mary Janes and a white top.

Chatted up Kuya Loloy, Caria's driver. Haha. Astig siya!

Gaddi, Bea and Trizza were already in Sasaki when we arrived.

The Welcoat team was there! Hot papa! Haha.

We started eating already. Grabeh! BUFFET! Aika, Eizel, Bau, Chelly and Pam arrived.

We wanted to request for Ace of Base's song I Saw The Sign. Amp!

Creepy Caucasian guy. Ew. Bitch with a pimply face and a fat boyfriend. Their plate number is WSE 999, an ugly blue van.

All eleven of us cramped inside Caria's vehicle. Haha. I was getting dizzy so I was so quiet.

Got home past 12.

if you're feeling sinister

2004-12-14T18:42:00.000+08:00

The recent realization of future events has made me highly dependent on caffeine in forms of Coke and coffee. I talk like this due to hours of exposure to a large amount of scientific terms and our chemistry investigatory project. Let's digress:

Monday: No school. Zel, Rowie and Maica came over to work on our IP.
Tuesday: 3 quizzes, 3 chapters of Jane Eyre, 1 rock history paper, results of experimentation.
Wednesday: Chemistry test, English test, History quiz, THE quiz.
Thursday: Geometry test(!!!), Algebra test, IP mates will come over to finish the project.
Friday: The ever dreaded submission of the IP first draft.

I'm getting gayer by the minute. I'm starting to name my entries with Belle and Sebastian song titles. Not to mention I've developed this awful habit of saying "charing!"

I shall elaborate more when things are less hectic. (: Hopefully, a time as such will come.

Lord, its Camille. There are three more days left until vacation. Few, yes, but very stressful and tiring. Please help me get through this. About that situation, I entrust it to you. You know what I speak of.

POST SCRIPT
Dom: Thanks for your advice. I really do appreciate our after-school talks. (:

Caria: Thank you, as well. Sorry for always making you my shock absorber and target of my angst. I would have gone insane if it weren't for those late-night phone calls.

Bea: Sorry, sister of my soul. I'll elaborate on my letter which you will probably receive on Friday.

bury me where i fall

2004-12-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

Mum and I ate breakfast at McDonalds. Opha, Jessa, Mapple, Lauren, Kay and a bunch more were there. Needless to say, the whole AA basketball team. Haha. Turns out they had a game with Xavier. Then we celebrated mass in UP. Afterwards, we went to megamall and did a bit of shopping.

I bought the skirt I wanted from Bayo. Then a gift for the lucky friend I picked during our exchange gift. Haha. I also bought a book which I forbid myself to read until I reach Friday. Its American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I didn't do my Christmas shopping yet. I was feeling selfish today so I indulge. I'm sorry.

I hate investigatory projects. I really do. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! Its a guaranteed fail. Farewell my dreams, I watch you as Assumption flushes you down the toilet.

Guess who I caught shopping for CDs today.

Bakit ba parati na lang ganito? Second time around na 'to ah. Hindi pa ba sumosobra yun? I know I haven't degraded myself for it like others pero sobra naman na yata. Nakakawalang gana na e. Kung alam niyo lang sitwasyon ko, mababad trip rin kayo. Wala ka pang kamalay-malay na nakakasakit ka na ng tao. I mean, okay, I can't blame you. Hindi mo naman kasalanan e. Malay mo ba diba? Ewan. Basta, Caria, alam mo kung ano sinasabi ko.

take a sad song and make it better

2004-12-10T19:36:00.000+08:00

Wednesday was a holiday. We didn't have school. I got bored so I went to a nearby resort and swam. I had the whole place to myself. Our maids were with me and they tinkered with the karaoke. Haha. Thursday, for those in the Philippines, did you notice the temperature? It was COLD especially in the morning. Guess what we were doing from 7:40am - 9:00am. We were swimming in the ice-cold swimming pool! Yeah, that was fun.

I can barely remember today. We had solutions for Chemistry. AFS had a Christmas Doughnut Party. Out of coincidence, almost everyone brought doughnuts as their contribution. At least I got a half-of-a-normal-slice pizza courtesy of Kat. We had this informal, Taglish debate. THBT: Kelangan gwapo ang boypren mo. (Your boyfriend needs to be good looking.) I was in the government side. Haha. Benta!

Copeland has been playing on repeat lately. Oo na, hot na si Billy Crawford. I just woke up. Lorra lent me Echo by Francesca Lia Block. I like it so far. Oh well. I must be off reading Jane Eyre then work on our IP. I'm really dreading next week. You have no idea.

hey unfaithful

2004-12-08T13:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday after school, Caria and I caught a ride with Eizel. We went to Bau's place. She celebrated her birthday six days ago (December 2, 2004). Belated happy birthday, Bau! She looked really pretty. Rawr! I don't have a pic of her since she was pretty busy entertaining other guests. These other guests include Nique, Pam, Caria, Bea, Eizel, Gaddi, Miguel, Trizza, Aika, Chelly, Kat, Marla, Blu, Bianca, Avic, Arevalo, Ali, Synty, Jo Ann, Mikey, Nica, Mon-mon, Trixia, Ginny, Aizel, Cariz and some bunch of atenean boys who came late. I think I forgot some but oh well.

Lets settle my blurred chronology of events and the huge number of highlights of last night with a list.

Arrived, ate chicken and pasta. Yum! I think I had about 4-5 rounds. Eek.

Had a candle-lit dinner but it wasn't as romantic as that sounded.

The party was split into different crowds.

Got drunk on pasta, chicken, coke and water.

Inspired by the series of sex tapes, I present you The Assumption Scandal!

Joke time with Caria, Kat, Blu, Avic, Bianca, Trizza, Camille, Celine and Miguel!

Miguel amazed us with the powers of his hair. He even took requests. Wolverine!

Played basketball. It was one of those "Kapag na-shoot ko 'to kayo ni ____." or "Kapag na-shoot ko 'to, prom date mo si ____." Haha.

Kinarir ni Marla yung laro. Pam was a shooter! Caria, reigning queen of the game, 21.

Gaddi, the Flip Balla! Agua oxinada in the house! Haha. Sugapa sa bola.

Played billiards with Pam, Caria and Nique. Caria won.

Semi-heart to heart talk with Caria

Ate some more pasta and chicken. Kat's bra felt tight, our skirts were nearly bursting.

Song for the day: Billy Crawford - Bright Lights.

Everyone came out of the closet and admitted the guilty pleasure they derive from the said song and even the guy. Gasp!

Formed a circle and poured out frustrations in looking for a prom date.

Quote of the day: "I don't know. I just think you deserve someone better." Hohum. I hope you're right.

Low quality pictures up ahead. Perks of a cam phone and an evening event. Sorry. Haha.

[!] Blu, the tomador.
[!] Laughing. I have no idea why.
[!] My ride. Nah, how I wish. That's Bau's.
[!] ???
[!] "Karel, is that you???" Scripted. Amp.
[!] Blu ulit

[!] Avic and Trizza
[!] Coming up with Assumption Scandal
[!] View from the entertaiment room. There's the badminton/basketball court and a bunch of trees
[!] Mikey, Aika, Eizel, Mon-mon, Trixia and Nica.
[!] I look fat. Rawr! Si kat tlga lesbi! Haha.
[!] Blu and Avic at their finest. Haha!

In conclusion, its one of those parties where you wish you didn't have to go home yet. (:

words are not important

2004-12-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

For the first time, I posted here without syncing it with my livejournal. Why? Suddenly I start feeling self conscious posting there. Again, a simultaneous "why?". My idolization for a guy turned into a massive crush. Now we all know admiration mixed with infatuation spells INTIMIDATION. This guy happens to be on my friends list. The mere fact that he can read my thoughts scares the shit out of me. Better start watching what I say. Like as if we haven't been LJ friends for months. No, despite what you gather from this paragraph, its not one of those stupid online crushes.

Shit. Ayoko umasa. Last time na napa-asa ako, ang saklap ng nangyari. Hanggang ngayon may aftermath pa rin. Jeez. I need my dose of realism. I seem to have been skipping my medication of the aforementioned for the past month.

I have lots of homework for tomorrow. I'm bingeing in chocolate-covered marshmallows. Yeah, new layout. Its fink and black. I got bored, so sue me. I talk like some retarded bitch. Who says "so sue me"? Lame. There is an effluvia of sleep from my eyes. My rock history research are just mere conjectures. Yes, I'm trying to increase my feeble vocabulary. Diffidence, inclement, artifice... Sir Eric is my idol. He taught me irony and sarcasm. Haha. I crack myself up.

wrap you tight

2004-12-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

Nothing has been going on. I feel like I went on another semestral break. I went to school for a total of one day this week. Haha. I was unproductive and lazy though. Progress reports are half-done, still not halfway with Jane Eyre, Geometry and History books remain untouched. I've been boring as well. I declined Gaddi's invitation to go to Rockwell today. Complete with the back and forth transportation and free food, probably. I was supposed to get a haircut but mum got caught in a traffic jam. Maybe tomorrow but I hate my hair now!

I was in a conference with Caria and Pam. "Ano ba ang kinakasal kapag umuulan tapos may araw?" Its neverending, I tell you. Caria claims aswang, Pam says duwende... both are absurd. I say, tikbalang. If you happen to know and have proof (may proof pa talaga e), please do enlighten us. Caria, it was nice talking to you today. (:

What an asshole! I love Hanson's music pa naman. Pardon the inane Filipino statements.

I'm loving this song. Thanks, Robert.

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 glasswingeds a-tickling.
11 __glendoras a-bouncing.
10 excess_sexs a-hollering.
9 revoltishs a-grunting.
8 _thestreetsends a-calling.
7 soulharvests a-hugging.
6 operatingrooms a-grinning.
5 red purplemoon_s.
4 skating velouria_18s.
3 Czechen tuck_it_ins.
2 horse iyakitty_yaks.
And a daytimedrama_ in a tomato tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

saturn makes your mind break

2004-12-02T18:00:00.000+08:00

Classes were cancelled today. It came as a surprise since earlier this morning, there was no rain and the ground was even dry indicating it didn't rain the night before. There's a super typhoon coming or is it already here? Its 600 km in diameter, moving 30 kph and with a speed of almost 200 kph. Eek. Sorry for my lack of knowledge regarding the technicalities. For the first time, I felt concern for those who do not have proper shelter or are even homeless. I mean in a selfish sense, I'm glad for the lack of classes but I still have my big-picture side. Hohum. Prayers, that's all.

I have this friend who I used to be close to. She was my closest friend that time. She was my kakampi and almost to the point of us against the world. No, not in the lesbian way. Something happened and she distanced herself from me. It was totally reasonable. We talked and for a while, things were okay. Then I realized, I was the one creating the gap. I miss her. Its my fault, I know. I wish things were back to the way it was before. No matter how cliché that sounds. If you're reading this, I'm sorry. ):

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST ADBENTURERO FRIEND, MAIKA! Remember our Sulyap Lahi days when we did nothing but lie around the classroom floor listening to Coheed and Cambria? Remember Fairday The Thirteenth with Bea and going home in the wee hours of the morning? Remember braving the wind, rain and floods just to go to Anonas and see your boy and my boy play? Remember our spur of the moment Big R trips watching movies? Remember sem break and doing nothing but go over to Bea's house and watch more movies? Remember going to Eskinita and salvaging a good-for-four #4 Cheese pizza? Remember when you first told me about Iann? Remember our cheesy, heart-to-heart y!m conversations regarding heartbreak and my obscure philosophy? I hope you remember because I do. I love you! Funchmate! (volt in tayong tatlo ni Bea) I miss those days.

wishlist

2004-12-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

I've been seeing wishlists on my friends entries. I thought I'd join in. (: In no particular order, except for the first four.

20Gb iPod

A prom date

The Bag On Line Adventures: Second Stage Turbine Blade comic book

Rename Token

Trip to Zambales (I got jealous of )

Carnivalé Season 01 on DVD

For things to go back the way it was before.

Its funny how boys just manage to screw things up and change everything.
(I apologize for sounding too damn sexist.)

the sweet and sour speech

2004-11-28T19:32:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, was a fun day. It was Bea's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEA! We had a mass. I was teary-eyed. Caria was beside me and we were reminiscing the days when we were happy. Days include the championship game between Ateneo and La Salle in UAAP Season 65. Haha. The rest of the day was fun. I declined the offer to debate in the Academic Week which I regret now but its okay, I'm part of the oratoricals anyway. AFS was fun, we debated with ourselves.

Bea, Pam, Caria, Nique, Anne, Maika, Iann, Aika, Gaddi, Eizel, Trizza, Bau, Chelly and I went to Eastwood afterwards. I'm too lazy to post pictures. The "original plan" was to go to Superbowl BUT we had a surprise birthday party for Bea in their condo. (: Bea's parents and Ate L.A. were there. I bought Bea a pink Care Bear. Haha. Caria discovered her hidden cowboy blood. Ampotah.

My eye swelled up so bad. I had to wear glasses the whole day, Saturday. We had a boy-girl interaction with Xavier School. The thing about that boys' school is that more than half of the student population are either Chinese or has Chinese blood. So yesterday was Chinito-galore.

In one of the centers, they required a person with a fear of public speaking. I was chosen. Haha. We needed to win so we had to bend the rules! I gave a one minute speech about "Which is the best type of music among the three: rock, senti or classical?" I mentioned the oppressive discourse involved in pop culture therefore I defended all three types. Haha.

I cried while I was going home. I got scared and really paranoid. My dad saw me and he hugged me. Then my mum came home. She got mad because I went home with Maika instead of waiting for her. Then she hugged me as well. I LOVE MY PARENTS! Thank you Maika, Giselle, Ina, Celine, Steph and Andy. I love you guys as well.

I'm still in a depressed mood. Pam is doing a good job cheering me up though. I've been like this ever since November 15. An entry regarding this will soon follow. Happy Birthday, Trish!

magkatabi sa ulan

2004-11-21T21:31:00.000+08:00

Thursday was one hell of a preparation day. Nah, not really. I barely did anything. It was half-day and I spent half the time with Caria and a bunch of sophomores. It was pretty fun. Majalya (Student Council President) came up with this Psyche Up The Sun Campaign. She made us bring sunglasses to "psyche up the sun". It worked! For the first day, anyway.

ASSUMPTION ANTIPOLO FAIR 2004
FRIDAY (first day of the fair):
- Came to school early and met up with Caria and Dom.
- Hanged out with Niña, Caria, Anne, Dom, Eizel, Gaddi, Bea, Trizza, Chelly and Bau.
- Invaded Top Your Chips.
- Rode the Octopus with Gaddi and ended up with lumps at the back of my head.
- I saw My Boo! Schyeah. One year since that fateful day. He just went with a different alias at that time.
- Emo talk with Bea.

SATURDAY (second day of the fair):
- Spent the day under a roof.
- Blew plastic balloons.
- Variety show!
- Sat down for the most part.
- Tried to figure out how to set the time of Gaddi's tamagochi.
- It took Miguel, Gaddi, Jolo, Bianca and I to do so.
- Met up with Rico since Eskinita sponsored the variety show.
- My batchmates danced Burn by Usher
- My Boo was there again. (:
- Left during the set of Bloomfield.
- Missed Zel's dance performance. ):

Something happened at the end of that Saturday night. There were actually two incidents. Only Caria knows since she was the sole witness. Haha. Those incidents certainly cheered up my gloomy and rainy day! (; Charing!

Jeepney! We came up with the lamest concepts for the video of this song. Since it was raining and all. I vote Miguel as the vocalist! (Sabay luhod sa ulan.)

MORE PICTURES HERE!

brightest little firefly in her jar

2004-11-13T13:50:00.000+08:00

Got too lazy to expound yesterday. I'm lazy again so whenever I have a lot to say, I'll just make a list. I know all of you hate reading uber-long paragraphs.

Maika and I went to Eskinita.

Iann, Steve and Rico were there.

I bought a Too Late The Hero shirt.

Rico was interested in selling in our fair. I got him as a sponsor. Hurrah! I called up Roz, my comm head, and said that she'll just fax the contract to Rico. So they'll be selling in our variety show. Wow! I finally had contribution in that committee.

Iann, Steve, Maika and I commuted from Eskinita to Katipunan.

Iann and Steve needed to go to McDo Katipunan. They left for Olonggapo from there.

Maika and I went to Yellow Cab to eat.

We went to National Bookstore so Maika could buy Jane Eyre.

I FINALLY MET RULF!

I didn't bother in presenting it in a much more interesting way. So there, pictures. (:

The store called, Eskinita. -- Maika and Steve choosing CDs. -- Kittens!
Cams fixing the chess board. Iann's head on the right. -- Stolen shot of Steve. -- #4 Cheese pizza.
Cams being her cam-whore self. -- Maika, all giddy. -- Takam na takam! Haha. (That's not scripted.)
Emo heart with not so emo face. -- Same. -- Salvaged pizza.

precipitate

2004-11-06T07:49:00.000+08:00

01 Bright, bright sun.
02 Trees!
03 Walking.
04 Walking some more.
05 Bea seems frustrated.
06 That's Pam.
07 Iya and Dom.
08 My feet.
09 Iñigo.
10 Alligator bread!
11 Dom preparing the cheese.
12 Food!
13 Dom and Pam ready to eat.
14 Mikolo Vincenzo.

Precipitate. That's why I made a mess.

my conscience weighs a ton

2004-11-05T13:24:00.000+08:00

Caria, Dom, Bea, Pam and I hanged out at Caria's house. I arrived a little past eight in the morning. We spent more than 12 hours together. It was a blast! My friends and I have clashing schedules during schooldays. Its almost impossible for us to gather during break times. We made up for those times. I love you, kids! Pictures soon. I'm really not in the mood to elaborate. So paragraphs with various subjects would be inane. Let's settle this with another list.

We cooked (and baked?) lasagna which was good. I mean, the heavenly and orgasmic kind of good.

Ate lunch composed of our Lasagna and Inihaw. Schwee!

We watched School of Rock, Ju-On (The Grudge; jap version), 13 Going On 30, The Notebook, Bruce Almighty and Girl Next Door.

School of Rock was viewed out of the request of Caria's brothers. The Notebook failed to capture my emotions well except for my annoyance for slutty girls like Allie. Bruce Almighty definitely makes it to my favorite movies list. Girl Next Door is the chick flick porn! Haha.

Went to the store in front of Cottonwoods to buy food. Yes! More food.

Saw Caria's brother about to leave for Tagaytay. (;

Ate endlessly, until merienda. We ate left-over lasagna.

Walked around Cottonwoods to look for the garage sale but just ended up savouring the cool weather and taking pictures.

Dinner came and we had the mysterious but yummy viand which Caria's lola made and some fried fish.

Went to Caria's room and made fun of people's last names which we got from the telephone directory. Haha!

Caria and Pam listed words they used or made up during freshmen year. Benta! I'm guilty of using those words too.

Hacked the friendster account of Uno's friend and added all of our accounts. Haha! Bad!

My mum picked me up at 10:15pm.

There's a gig today in Eskinita in Taytay at 8pm. Line-up includes Too Late the Hero, Monsterbot, In The Absence of Bo, Death by Tampon, Giniling Festival, Typecast and Kamikazee. Beer and kanto-food will be sold. Its only in Taytay! I doubt I'm going. Reasons why include: I failed to ask permission, I don't have money, I have no cellphone and my reason to be there isn't there. (; What am I missing out on? The awesome bands and finally meeting Rulf, who by the way is Maika's ever so hot brother. Sorry Maika, hot naman kasi talaga kapatid mo.

here comes the sun

2004-11-02T08:39:00.000+08:00

I went to Bea's house yesterday. I was an hour and a half late. Maika was already there. We watched Super-size Me on DVD. Maika had to leave afterwards. That left Bea and I in a date. Well, not really. For the most part, ate L.A. was with us, asking the bloodiest questions like "Who are your prom dates?" (Ouch?) Benjo wanted to stay too but Bea kicked him out. Then we got into this chick flick marathon. Nah, not really.

Ate frosted cornflakes and chocolate mousse while watching Super-size Me. The movie had no effect, whatsoever.

For some odd reason, Maika had two bags of unpopped mirowaveable popcorn in her bag. That was all that was in her bag.

Popped the popcorn when Maika left. The first bag was overdone.

Watched 13 Going On 30, Kill Bill Vol. 2, View From The Top and a bit of Swimfan.

Gushed over Mark Ruffalo. We need to find our own Matt.

Ate L.A. was insisting Mark Ruffalo is ugly and we should just watch Prince and Me.

Ate a seafood dinner while watching Fear Factor with Benjo and Ate L.A.

Obscene comments about huge breasts and sexy women were uttered.

Opted to watch Cinemax instead which featured a Jude Law movie

Gushed over Jude Law as well.

Thirty and Flirty and Thriving and Paris First Class International still ringing in my head on the way home around 9:30 pm. Haha. Bea and I agreed that we're on the wrong ladder. We need to get down and climb the other ladders. Side-effects of too many chick flicks where dreams come true. That isn't the case most of the time.

the note from which a chord is struck

2004-10-27T16:41:00.000+08:00

My grades seemed okay. My parents were pretty happy that they let me play my music in the car. Haha. I didn't go to school today because well, I don't have anything to do. Actually I do but I got a pink post-it to take care of it. (: I hope it works.

I went to the mall today to meet up with Bea, Aika, Maika and Iann. Aika left when I arrived, she said she was about to leave way before but she just waited for me. Aw. So there was four. We watched Doll Master which is a stupid but funny movie. Oh well. I bought a school-girl skirt. Haha. Its supposed to be my costume for Saturday but I'm not too sure whether I'm going or not. The boy is going to be there because his band is playing. Oh well.

The Ashlee incident was funny. Haha. She deserved it. Oh yeah, come to think of it her band sounds pretty good without her. Hatah! What is with the American versions of Asian horror movies? They ruin the fun. Ew. They should just quit the whole hollywood-izing of cheap, indie asian horror movies. I like it better that way. Hollywood producers can't come up with anything original anymore.

(new layout)

fact to fiction

2004-10-24T14:56:00.000+08:00

1. Who is your favorite band or artist?
Coheed and Cambria

2. At what age did you find out about them?
15

3. Were they still making music when you discovered them?
Yes. But I'm still wondering what will happen after they release the fourth album. Hohum. I hope they start a new story.

4. Of all their records, which is your favorite and why?
Second Stage Turbine Blade. The latter, IKKSE:3, seems a little too marketed despite the fact that my favorite songs are there. SSTB is perfect. I love all the songs there. IKKSE:3 shines in some songs but fail to capture me like the unnecessary Blood Red Summer and the MTV-material A Favor House Atlantic.

5. Of all their songs, which is your favorite and why?
In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth, The Crowing, Time Consumer, Everything Evil and The Light and The Glass. I love all of their songs but the mentioned are the ones I can listen to repeatedly. IKKSE makes me see battle scenes and the song is pretty powerful. The Crowing is powerful as well especially the latter part where Claudio calls on Ambellina. Time Consumer is their only song I can play on guitar. Haha. Everything Evil because the ever-so-popular Dear Claudio-oh part is there and you can actually imagine the transformation of Coheed to Monstar. The Light and The Glass makes you feel calm at the beginning but the repeated chanting of Pray For Us All is quite haunting plus I haven't figured out the meaning of this song yet. I'm too slow.

6. Which is your least favorite of their albums and why?
Probably the one I didn't choose for my favorite album since they only have two albums out so far. It contains my top favorite songs but it contains my least favorite as well. SSTB is constant at its good quality. Some songs of IKKSE:3 fail to reach the calibre of the other songs. So I guess that's why. I end up skipping those songs because its quite... annoying.

7. Which is your least favorite of their songs and why?
I only have two. A Favor House Atlantic and Blood Red Summer. I like the songs but not as much. A Favor House Atlantic is overplayed. It gets annoying and a little too catchy. I end up having LSS. I never saw the point of Blood Red Summer. Catchy drum beats and the annoying "Woah-oh" parts. It reminds me of stupid 80's music. I like 80's music but not that kind.

8. Have you seen them live? If so, where and when?
No. I'd probably orgasm if I did.

9. Do you collect rare recordings by this band/artist? If so, what is your favorite of these recordings?
No because it isn't available here and no because I haven't the money.

10. Recite your favorite lyric of theirs.
Stay until Wednesday and write me a child-like letter pretendingAt war here in Thursday let's make this our last day at home by the fenceWould you run...? would you run? would you run down past the fence...?And she screamed Claudio, dear Claudio I wish God damn it we'll make it if you believe...
- Everything Evil

Naurris and Larry, Gloria to nowheresir, i think you'd better take my hand and pray we make this one out alivecaptain! we've lost all systems control then son i'll see you in my sleep
- Junesong Provision

The restless children sit and mourn the gravesOf those they've never seen beforeWill they be buried here among the dead?In the silent secret
- IKKSE:3

Will, Do the children really understand the things you did to them?And why oh why… Should they conjure up the will for you my love I would kill him.
- IKKSE:3

Please mom, they're coming for me.Please mom, run lock your door, they're coming for me.
- 21:13

music: Typecast - Another Minute Until Ten

second knife

2004-10-22T13:56:00.000+08:00

You don't use question marks in place for the word "question"? i.e. I have a couple of ?'s for you. Really. You just don't. Not even in text messaging. If you do that you're an ass. Just like if you write a song with beautiful words then scream out the lyrics. Or if you have a band named The Alphabets and you make your own rendition of the alphabet song. Just don't revive any song at all. Not unless you're sure you can beat the hell out of the original artist and give them a run for their money but that is highly unlikely. Well, back to my point don't use question marks in place for the word question.

Richard Cheese is the king of bastardization. Really. You'll be laughing your ass off if you think along the same lines as I do. He's the only one who can make me crack up with the sentence "Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?"

Is it just me who thinks Rilo Kiley is the most ironic band ever? They grow on you though.

I want to email Daryl. What should I say?

Hey Daryl, You make such awesome music. You should devalue me while your band plays. I love you. Nah, not really. Bye.
Cams

Sounds like one of those fucked up answering machine messages. Like a scary-sounding guy leaving me a message in my voicemail. Ew. People should engage in casual sex more. So your friends need not bother with the sad, pathetic stories of your love lives. Casual sex = Less heartbreak. Abstinence is even better.

I'm failing to make sense. Maybe that's why I'm getting low grades. Oh well. I wish I was witty.

page turner

2004-10-22T11:39:00.000+08:00

music: head automatica - please please please (young hollywood)

Tests are over. So is my no-failing-grade running streak. Oh well. Geometry finals for the second quarter was one of the worst tests I've taken in my life. Hohum. The ball's in their court now. I went to Bea's house yesterday with Pam, Anne, Bea (duh) and Maika. That definitely cheered me up after two stressful weeks.

Ordered two boxes of pizza, two orders of spaghetti, two bottles of soda and garlic bread.
Binged especially on the roast beef pizza with cream-cheese stuffed crust. Yum.
Walked all the way too Coffee Strike. We were tired and sweaty on arrival.
Watched Taking Lives, Girl Next Door, Dawn of The Dead and You Got Served.
I love Taking Lives and Girl Next Door.
Emile Hirsch is just adorable especially his extacy-induced self. d:
Encountered a literally mentally-ill guy yelling in the street saying he didn't touch his mom. Scurry.

Certainly took my mind off school and upcoming problems. I was happy for the first time in two weeks. The Boy is in Pampanga. OJT, I think. Nagkakalas daw ng eroplano. Tss. If you'll excuse me, I'll have to go spend my time doing nothing. (: Hurrah.
PS - I'm downloading more Head Automatica songs now. I'm hooked.

just ask the question

2004-10-20T13:17:00.000+08:00

Tuesday:
CLE and Health were easy. Adv. Algebra was horrible and so was History but not nearly as bad. Four down, four more to go. I'm in the midst of hell. Next week will be judgment day. Its funny how hell comes first before judgment day. I make bad analogies. My apologies. Oh well. I'm done studying English, I still have Chem for later. Eep. I'm tired and bored. I'm dreading tomorrow because I hate studying for Geom and I got discouraged because of a bunch of line of eights. ):

We got DSL yesterday. Hurrah. I'm watching Carnivále later. Eizel made me do it.

Wednesday:
Last day of studying. Hurrah! I have my worst subject and my struggling subject in one day though. Filipino and Geometry, respectively. Hohum. I just need to hang on for a few hours more and I shall be rewarded with a three-day weekend, lazy post-finals week, intramurals and a week-long sem break. I'm nearly there but just not quite.

I love Carnivale already. Finally, a series worth staying up for, besides Sex and The City and Six Feet Under. Must save up for the DVD release in December. (:

I need a bit of sleep before I start.

call in for an ambulance

2004-10-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

Saw another car accident two days ago. A guy was bleeding and the other vehicle had AA students in it, traumatized and some were injured. That was quite a morning. What's with me and car accidents? Witnessing three accidents in a span of a week. Hohum.

The government won the debate. I'm part of the opposition. That's just an indirect way of saying we lost. Harharhar. Its okay though since our team (composed of Camilla and I), the closing opposition, ranked first. (: We had a guest adjudicator. An alumnae and is from the Ateneo Debate Society, Ces. She seemed intimidating when she was giving her comments but I didn't take it too hard because she was my former busmate. Haha. She gave me quite encouraging comments especially after we were dismissed. What struck me was when she told me, "Magaling ka kaya. Karirin mo ang debating." Natouch ako. Sobra. I've been feeling down lately but that got my spirits up. The debate in whole wasn't really good, lots of room for improvement. Oh well.

Chem test was okay. English, Filipino, Geometry and Adv Algebra test were killers. They're really not too hard but the tests were not made to be answered under 40 minutes unlike last year when we had 50.This brought about a huge struggle when it comes to tests. Oh well. We still have our finals next week. Although it feels good crossing out one whole week from our two weeks of hell.

I love Coheed & Cambria. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I'll never get sick of saying it.

beating hearts baby

2004-10-11T18:30:00.000+08:00

After canceling plans with Eizel, I decided to go an hour later. So I went to the band screening. Watched a few bands. I missed Cong's band, Fig Newton and Hair Meets The Eye. Oh well. It was fun in a sitting-listening-eating-to-pass-the-time kind of way. One of the bands that came from the band screening got into a car accident. Two car accidents in two consecutive entries. Hohum.

Dom and I couldn't figure out where the infrared of her phone was. Until now.
Adorable bassist of the last band.
Joseph Yeo carbon copy drummer.
Went on a Tapa King binge.
I saw Bloomfield, well I missed their set but I saw them anyway.
Sunflower Day Camp wasn't able to go. ):
Gulped down a sip of vinegar. Ew.
Lots of hot boys who play stupid, tasteless, mainstream music.

Just felt like taking some silly photos. Its pretty when you're there though.

Bobbie made a beautiful entry about Bea Liwanag of AC. I'm sure she's in a happy place now. (: We all keep praying still.

Oh yes. New layout(!!!) Eargasm will be updated when I get the time. I've been listening to A LOT of new bands lately. (: And two weeks of hell ahead. Hang on tight, love. ): Please help me get through this.

its not working this time

2004-10-04T20:36:00.000+08:00

We had our public school teaching today. We taught a bunch of sixth graders from De La Paz Elementary School. It was fun but a bit nerve-wracking. When we entered, they had these scrutinizing stares. All ended up well when we started with the story which they barely understood because it was told in English and it was quite long. Not to be mean, but we overestimated their skills when we chose the story.

There was a sixth grade boy who was half a head taller than me and one of his classmates barely reach my shoulder. (wtf?) We gave them prizes like candies and chocolate. We created this love-team between the oh-so-adorable escort of the class and the muse. Haha. The class which Chin-Chin's" group handled, one kid just stepped out of the classroom then started sweeping the corridor. (Another wtf?!) After we got to relax a bit, we just spoke in a mixture of Filipino and English because they end up not participating if it was only the latter. We taught them homophones afterwards. They couldn't tell apart when to use "of" and "off". : I agree with Trizza in saying "It's sad how these kids don't get proper education." and its a much worse fact that the teachers themselves need some basic education too.

I only got an 85 on my Chem. Jeez. I just wanted to melt right there on my seat out of dismay. Geom was tension-filled today. Scary. I just supported my head on my hand and just kept my head down most of the time.

Listening to some Co&Ca again. Won't this ever die?

really gotta hand it to you

2004-09-29T18:17:00.000+08:00

Monday was bad. I mean really bad. Yesterday was okay. I was pissed off at everyone by the end of the day. We pretended to be models and mocked at their silly poses and possibly their brain (or lack of.) A poisonous compound was spilled on my left hand. It hurt a bit. We were bombarded once again with projects. There's one for CLE, another for History then a new one for Filipino. I'm losing a weekend too. Today, we had our chem test. I never imagined chem to be so hard.

Oh yes. About losing that weekend, we'll be having our recollection/retreat this friday. Here I am, on my knees (well just pretend I am), with my hands clasped and begging for a PALANCA/LETTER. It'll be so nice to read your letters. Even just a message composed in a minute's time would be good. If I won't see you tomorrow or early friday morning, please just email it to me: excerpt@gmail.com Thank you, if ever.

Geometry and Algebra test tomorrow. We even have PE. Eep.

following the trends

2004-09-19T14:45:00.000+08:00

CLASS ENCOUNTERI've been away from the house for two whole days. Friday, I went to school and had classes. After school, Gaddi, Eizel, Aika and I went to Gaddi's house to take a bath. We went back to school for our overnight class encounter. Before we got to the Formation House (a solemn place for activities unlike the class encounter but is perfect for overnights because its similar to a dorm), Miguel arrived to see Gaddi. Aww. He bought meals from McDonalds for all four of us. Bait noh?

When we got inside the formation house, we shared the food with those who were already there. Afterwards, we ate atis/sweet sops which Gaddi's mum gave us. The encounter started with the first activity, talking to a random classmate about a topic given. We were so noisy but it was so much fun. The second activity, we were asked to write about our strengths and weaknesses and the paper was passed around. It had a connection with the third activity which was the affirmation. We were divided into two groups and each group formed a line parallel to each other. The partners affirmed each other. A lot of my classmates made me cry. I realized how bad I was in receiving compliments. The next activity, the lights were turned off except for the hallway lights and we hugged those who touched us the most. I cried again especially with Maika, Eizel, Gaddi, Giselle and Aika.

SHANGRI-LAThe next day, we went to Shangri-La and got exposed to the conyotic and overpriced world. Haha. I was forced to buy a frappuccino from Starbucks because of this adorable barista. We looked for sponsors. I got Tower Records, I hope anyway.We ate at Tokyo Tokyo. Then Maika disappeared for some time. (; Haha. We left Shang at around 4pm.

SOIREÉWe arrived at around 5pm. I met a total of zero people because we were late. There were bands who played. It was okay. One-song set each band then the only female band from our class played four songs. It was so funny. Maika and I were the only ones able to relate to the songs. One band played The Used which was the closest one to decency. Izza, Cristhel and another girl were awesome! They played a bunch of Red Hot Chili Peppers songs. (:

I went home tired but I still had to go to my nephew's birthday party. (: I slept the whole time. When I got home again, I landed on my bed and fell asleep. I didn't clean up, not even brush my teeth. I woke up early and did those things and went back to sleep again. Now I'm here. Pardon the long post.

1. Gaddi kissing Eizel's armpit. Haha.
2. Maika and I err... posing.
3. Just woke up. Haha. You can tell by my messy hair. I'm Maika's biggest fan.
4. Maika and I in Shangri-La. Waiting for Christine's ride.
5. That's me with Maika, Agot and Nica. Camilla was also there but she was cut from the pic. Sorry.

hurrah!

2004-09-11T11:00:00.000+08:00

Let's make this collective ah.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLA, CARA, POM, MAPPLE, CARLA and ALELI!

miles away

2004-09-10T11:51:00.000+08:00

I ditched school today. Its just our foundation day and we'll just have the mass and some silly presentations. Too bad, I wanted to see the "Do You Hear?" performance. That song is awesome. I'm missing out on the overpriced food sale too. Oh well. At least I get to sleep all day and prepare for things overdue. I don't want to rant about school anymore. I'm sure you know how bad it is. Well, just to make things worse, I received two pages worth of homework due next week. Ladilala. (insert deep breaths here) The gig later is out of the schedule because In The Absence of Bo won't be playing anymore. Oh well. On a more positive note, I'm off to Big R with Caria and Dom. That'll get my mind off things even for a while.

I'm fucking irresponsible and I know it. This is my public apology, I'm sorry that I deceived you to think I can handle these positions resulting to you voting for/choosing me for these different positions. I bit off more than I can chew. I'm suffering for it. I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations. I give you the right to kill me when you see me.

this is forever

2004-09-07T19:09:00.000+08:00

Could this week and the week before possibly get any worse? Now that I've said it, I think it will. Nothing else has happened besides pure shit. I still need to come up with a laudable IP topic, hindi yung ikakahiya mo kasi its just a comparative study or something. I hate this pressure. I need a whole day's worth of rest.

Our CLE project seems interesting. We're given the freedom to do or create anything we wish just as long as it serves the purpose of promoting the priestly, prophetic and kingly mission. I somehow sensed that Giselle would be my groupmate. We were planning something before we were even grouped. By some lucky chance, we were grouped together. Haha. Our group decided on a documentary but for some reason, everybody's ideas were documentaries. So we opted to create a music video instead. Still open to changes though. (:

Wow. My fears were confirmed. Ginagamit lang siya ng girlfriend niya. Sabi ni Maika na feeling ni Iann ginagamit lang siya. Meh. Eh kasi rockstar nga naman, sinong hindi papatol. Kahit gaano kasahod mukha niya diba? Ah fuck. Gusto naman yata niya e. Bahala sila. Naka-chat nga pala siya ni Kiz. Hihi. Tangina. That reminds me, ang labo pa rin sa Friday. Nawawalan na ako ng gana despite this huge part of me wanting to go. Oh well.

Download this.

Its just an mp3 and it came from my very own computer so its safe. This will be oh-so-funny if you know the band System of A Down. Haha! Chopsuey! Don't worry, its not rock. Far from it actually. d:

set from their hearts

2004-09-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

Schyeah! New layout again. I got bored. It seems like I only post here whenever I have a new layout. Oh well.

Foundation day is on Friday and select people from the class gets pulled out. Too bad I lack the skills to be part of any performance. Haha. Rumours are going around that its a half-day. I do hope so. There's some sort of event in McDo Katipunan on the said day and Bea's trying to get all of us to go because Ate LA is going to sing BUT at the same time, there's this some sort of bar gig in Marikina. Oh well.

I want to go to Marikina this Friday. I really really really do. I want to see him again. Both hims. O diba? Two in one blow. Hehe. Joke.

Belated Happy Birthday, Wissa! I greeted you on time via your tagboard naman e. Hihihi. Up here! Advanced Happy Birthday to Cara, Mapple and Aika!

i stay

2004-09-01T19:01:00.000+08:00

I think I'm in love with a person I have never met. I never will meet him. Its not the superficial kind of love. Yes, he's beautiful. He's perfect with his imperfections. Still, its beyond superficial. Love in a purely artistic level. My admiration for him reached up to the point where I am willing to let him leave a permanent mark on me. I give you the right to embed bullets in my head now. I'll give you cookies if you can guess who. (: (Hint: read title and trust me, you know who he is) Don't mind me. I'm just being my little obscure self once again.

I feel like I'm slowly regaining my friendship with a person I was close to during my freshman year. During the leadership training, Ms. Samson asked us to think of something we want to do but have been postponing for the longest. She was my first thought. Ms. Samson then gave us a week to accomplish it. Its been more than month since that day. Oh well. Just a bit late, that's all.

Mum got me a credit card. Wtf?! Its just an extension but still. (: Homework is yet to be done.

retrace the steps as if we forgot

2004-08-31T04:11:00.000+08:00

This is so cliche but yeah, got myself a Gmail account. All thanks to Paige. So go add me to your contacts and tag me with yours, spam my 1000 MB while you're at it. (: My email needs a bit of attention nowadays.

excerpt@gmail.com

I love the new Taking Back Sunday album. I don't care if you hate them. I somehow rekindled my love for them even after bashing their later material. I love their old material better though. Sure, their songs got catchier more melodic but that is not reasonable enough for me to hate them. What do I know though? I'm bad at justifying things anyway.

Speaking of justification of my convictions, did I mention what an ass I made out of myself last Friday? Of course I haven't. After two days of suspended classes, the storm stopped on Friday. Nature has a cruel sense of humour sometimes. Wait, what was I saying? Oh yes. Have you ever had that experience of after being given a topic/question, all these thoughts/points/answers race through your head and when it was your turn to speak you try to formulate sentences with proper construction but fail miserably because you don't know which point you should deliver first? I just did. Sorry for the run-on sentence.

PS - new layout!!!

funeral keeps both of us apart

2004-08-20T18:38:00.000+08:00

edit:I have a new tag-board which I worked all night for. SPAM IT! I beg you. If you posted yesterday, I didn't get it. I deleted my tagboard.com code already. Meh. Sorry.

What's with the new blogger banner? Dammit. Its effin' ugly. The title doesn't look oh-so-anticamel anymore. ): It looks like "ancicamei" Grr. How do you hide that thing? Trizza, how did you do it? Welp. edit: IT'S GONE! ISSA KILLED IT FOR ME! Thank you!

I haven't done this for so long. Sit in front of PC, watch a bit of TV, read a book, sleep, eat and basically just wander around the house. I found some cookies in the pantry. Hurrah. Its one of those fudgy chocolate chip cookies except its got white chocolate chips too. My day was boring, I guess that was the highlight. I'm not pissed off that I'm bored. I actually miss the feeling of boredom.

Last night, I couldn't help but browse a bit on my Geom book. Meep. I couldn't sleep so I did. After a few pages, I started feeling sleepy. Hah. I feel irresponsible and uneasy already if I didn't at least browse through my notes. Meh. People get drug-dependent but I get book-dependent? I need a life. A life which actually involves interaction with other people outside school. Even just for the next two days.

You should all go listen to I Would Set Myself On Fire For You. Yes, that's a bandname. I love 'em already. Oh yes, however mainstream, I like Dare You To Move of Switchfoot. I love the song and it's prolonging my stay on Wissa's blog. (: Hurrah.

I'm off to go draw and write. I haven't done those in a long time.

Pam: You're the queen of obscurity. You really are. That's why I love you. Ganda ng layout mo, tsong.

Chin: I linked you already(!!!)